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TNA
The Royal Treatment: RAW (6.27.05)
Posted by Peter Kostka on Jun 27, 2005, 23:53
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Hey, I just noticed that this is my 100th article for TSM. Thanks to everyone that reads my stuff. I hope you've enjoyed it.
Live from, Anaheim, California. Like at Vengeance, Da Coach has joined Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler in the booth but honestly, I couldn�t tell if it was an improvement or not. Coach was just �there.�
Kurt Angle heads out for our opening promo. At Wrestlemania, he made Shawn Michaels tap, but last night he got lucky, evening up the tally at 1-1. He bets the fans would love to see round 3 tonight, but that�s not going to happen. �Since I beat him at Wrestlemania that should count twice.� What he really wants to talk about is Batista. He had Batista beat last week, but HHH stuck his nose in things and ruined it. He calls himself �The Man�, so of course that draws out Ric WHOO Flair. He�s a �mark� for Angle and wants his son (Reid, not David) to turn out as good of a wrestler as Angle is�..but he�s not The Man. HHH is still The Man. Angle rightfully points out that Batista�s beaten him three times and tells Flair that he�s great and makes some age jokes before telling him to leave before he gets hurt. Flair tells him that if Angle ever tried doing that amateur stuff on him, Flair will pull out every dirty trick in his arsenal. Angle threatens him by saying he�ll go to Eric Bischoff and make a match �and you don�t want that.� Flair has no problem with that, since �Vince McMahon himself is drooling� over the prospects of a match between them (so let�s give it away on free TV). Another �Whooo-off� and it�s on for tonight.
Thoughts: Guess it�s time for our bi-monthly Flair match. I guess it isn�t a bad idea, considering Flair�s deteriorating ring skills, that he ramps up the cheating to make up for it and build a match that way. As long as it doesn�t go overboard.
We see a �DVD Extra� from Vengeance that has Bischoff book a six man tag match tonight between Chris Jericho, Christian and Tyson Tomko vs. John Cena and two partners. If Cena can�t get anyone, it�ll be a 3-on-1 match.
Edge and Snitsky (w/Lita) vs. Kane and ?
We find out that Kane�s partner is the first of RAW�s last two draft picks, but before he�s introduced, Edge and Snitsky pound on Kane. Kane quickly takes control and sends Edge into the crowd, giving chase. Snitsky stands alone, so Eric decides to make a 1-on-1 match instead: Snitsky vs�..The Big Show
Snitsky vs. The Big Show
Back and forth for about 20 seconds which turns into a Show squash as he sloooooowly works Snitsky over before hitting the chokeslam for the pin. Whee.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: You could say that Smackdown got raped again but really, what has Show been doing lately? Ever since Wrestlemania he�s been pretty much floating around the upper mid-card getting sloppily F-5ed by Matt Morgan. No big loss.
Maria tries to interview John Cena, but forgets her question so Cena tells her to go off camera and think REALLY hard. He introduces his first tag partner: Shawn Michaels. And apparently Shawn has placed a call and their third partner is on his way. Gee, wonder who could THAT be? Maria returns and asks Cena if he�s found any partners yet. Because she�s dumb, you see. *Cue laugh track*
Edge and Lita jog-walk down the halls and Lita stops off to get her bag (yeah, because the big homicidal bald guy takes a back seat to your belongings). Edge watches for Kane outside the door but, naturally, Kane�s already in the room. He chokes Lita while telling her he�s going to make her life a living Hell.
Oh goody, the Masterlock Challenge is back. Chris Masters has upped the ante to $14K, and Tajiri steps up to the plate. Masters makes a HI-larious exchange rate joke and Tajiri calls him �a Master Jackass�. Masters gets pushy, so Tajiri kicks him and hooks on the Tarantula. He springs off the ropes, but Masters clobbers him in the head and locks it on. Tajiri fights it, but the ref calls for the bell. Masters grabs the mic and demands respect from Tajiri, which gets him misted.
Carlito heads out for the RAW debut of Carlito�s Cabana, a show that he says will top The Highlight Reel as the top show on RAW. His guest this week is the final draft pick, and he was told by Bischoff that RAW�s streak of great picks has ended, as this one�s a lemon. The final RAW pick is��.Rob Van Dam. They kind of stumble a bit in the promo, but Carlito tells him the last time he saw RVD was at One Night Stand, when he was in the ring whining his heart out. RVD retorts that the last time he saw Carlito, he was getting his ass kicked by ECW. He cuts a really good intense promo about how he�s rehabbing well and is going to return strong, probably one of the best promos he�s cut in WWE. Carlito attacks the knee and slams it into a little metal end table.
Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle
Angle goes to the mat to start and, just like he said he would, Flair cheats to escape by biting Angle�s hand and pulling at his mouth, nose and eyes. He fires off some chops, but Angle hits some stiff looking Euro uppercuts and sends Flair to the floor. Flair blocks getting rammed into the steps and gives it to Angle. More chops, but Angle catches him and hits an overhead belly to belly, which takes us to commercial. Good start, though I would have stretched that opening portion out a little bit more before going to the floor.
Coming back, Angle works the arm and sends Flair to the floor again, but Flair answers with a chop. Back in, Angle gets a backdrop for 2. He slaps on a STF, but Flair bites his thumb to escape. Angle tries to slug him down, but Flair rakes his eyes to control and backdrops him to the floor (again to the floor?). Angle backdrops him on the mats and gets 2 back in the ring. Flair chops and goes to drop an elbow, but Angle rolls away, so Flair just takes a few more steps and drops it anyway. He goes up, but Angle pops up after him and they try to go for some sort of slam or something off the top, but instead Flair loses his balance and falls to the floor, almost taking Angle with him. Back in, Angle hits the Angle Slam, but it gets 2. He gets the Anglelock, but Flair grabs the family jewels to break and goes for the knee, slapping on the figure four. Angle teases a tap, but gets the rope to break. Angle gets a German suplex, but Flair blocks a second, grabbing the ref to block his view so he can land a mule kick to Angle�s groin (well, the ref is allowing him to cheat in plain view, so why go through the trouble?) He hits a delayed vertical suplex for 2 and goes for a kneebuster, but Angle grabs his foot and rolls into the Anglelock. He adds the legbar and that�s enough for Flair to tap.
Rating: 5/10
Thoughts: It was fun to watch, but they did go a little overboard with Cheatin� Ric in my view. And they seemed to drag a bit in the middle portion after the commercial break constantly going to the floor. Still, Flair did what he said he was going to do and they put together a fairly decent match that got the crowd into it. Flair should now just stay the hell out of the ring outside of the occasional tag match.
Smackdown Rebound, which completely ignores the Eddie/Rey match and focuses on the �Smackdown Championship� match this week. Now that Show�s been drafted, I assume Batista jumps to SD and they make it for the World Heavyweight Title.
It�s time to meet the Diva Search finalists. Coach is your host and he brings out Christy to co-host. Our finalists come out to strip and dance as the crowd almost immediately turns on the whole thing. Ashley�s still my favorite. �Highlights�: Alexis essentially pulls a Jeremy Roenick and pretty much insures she�s the first to be eliminated by ripping off both Stone Cold (by throwing a beer all over herself) AND Ric Flair (by saying �To be the woman, you have to beat the woman.�) in 10 seconds. Summer makes a STUPID pun about it being a �hot Summer� or something, and they dance. Sgt. Slaughter (?!) comes out and announces that next week they will go through an obstacle course. Well, ratings always suck on the 4th of July, so why try to entice people. And more dancing ends the segment.
Thoughts: I thought you WEREN�T supposed to win back-to-back Gooker awards, because we can end the voting right now. I don�t know how they did it but in one segment, ONE SEGMENT, this is already worse than the original Diva Search. All I can say is, JHawk, it�ll suck to be you in July. Oh yeah, Viscera was involved, but did nothing of note.
Todd Grisham talks with Batista (yeah, remember him? Won Hell in a Cell last night?), and Batista gets emotional talking about the match. The Cell took a lot out of him, but it was all worth it because he�s still got the belt. And thus ends all we�re going to hear from Batista tonight. Honestly, couldn�t they have him come out for the opening promo and then segue into the Angle-Flair confrontation?
Jericho, Christian and Tomko discuss who the third man is. It�s not Marty Jannetty because, says Christian �I heard he was locked up.� It isn�t Kevin Nash because, says Jericho �Nash would tear his hamstring reaching for the phone.� BUUUUUUURN!! They ARE near Hollywood, but completely dismiss Hulk Hogan. Clearly Canadians have never heard of Occham�s Razor: the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.
After the heels make their entrance, Cena and Michaels introduce their tag partner: Hulk Hogan. Yes, I�m as shocked as you are.
John Cena, Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan vs. Christian, Y2J and Tyson Tomko
The whole match is essentially what we saw last week: Michaels is the face in peril until he makes the hot tag (to Hogan, in this case), who clears house with the help of Cena and Michaels, finishing off Tomko with the legdrop for the pin. Cena poses with Hogan, but leaves so Michaels and Hogan can hog�..er�.soak in the spotlight as we fade to black.
Rating: 1/10
Thoughts: Well, since Mohammed Hassan got completely jobbed out last week, either Jericho or Christian (or both, if they�re actually creating a new SD title) is getting drafted, because they�re pretty much finished on RAW. I guess Hogan�s around to plug his reality show on VH-1, though his �special appearances� are getting as tiresome as Rock�s were.
Final Thoughts: This week left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. No Shelton Benjamin, who only was one of the better reasons to watch RAW in 2005, the Diva Search back in all it�s �glory�, and Batista being relegated to a 2 minute promo after beating HHH for a THIRD time. Yeah, there was good (the promo work from Angle, Flair and RVD and the Flair/Angle match), but the bad was pretty damn bad.
Time to switch, so I�ll see you next Thursday for Smackdown.
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