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The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Survivor Series 2003
Posted by The Dames on Nov 17, 2003, 04:48
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The Dames� Diatribe on WWE Survivor Series 2003
Well, tonight is WWE Survivor Series and considering Survivor Series is considered one of the �Big 5� (or 4 now that King of the Ring is out), it should be very interesting. We�ve got two old school Survivor Series match ups, three title matches on the line and two gimmick matches involving McMahons. Hey, you have to take the good with the bad, right?
Bonus Heat Match:
Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri for the WWE Cruiserweight Title
Match Background: Prior to last month�s No Mercy PPV, Tajiri took on Jamie Noble in a tag match on Smackdown and ended up spraying Black Mist into Nidia�s eyes. She was hospitalized because of it, with Noble at her side to take care of her. Last month, at No Mercy, Tajiri defended his title against Rey Mysterio. During that match up, two Japanese men jumped the rail and allowed Tajiri to retain his title. These two men have since joined up with Tajiri and have acted like bodyguards for the Cruiserweight Champ. On Smackdown recently, Jamie Noble (sans Nidia) and went after Tajiri immediately, extremely upset about what he did to his girlfriend. He ended up pinning Tajiri with his Tiger Bomb and tonight, he faces Tajiri for the Cruiserweight Title.
The Match: As Tajiri walks up the ramp, Noble attacks him and tosses him into the ring. Tajiri begins working over Noble though, screaming like a banshee in the corner. Noble gets out, hitting a short arm clothesline, but gets caught in the midsection by a Tajiri kick for a two count. Tajiri hits a pair of knees to the midsection of Noble before placing him on the ring ropes and kicking him down. Tajiri hooks on an abdominal stretch, but Noble hiptosses out of it. Noble puts the boots to Tajiri, but Tajiri actually kicks Noble in the face from the position! Noble recovers and hits a nice neckbreaker on the Cruiserweight Champ and both men are down.
Noble gets up and hits a bunch of forearms before knocking Tajiri down to the mat several times. The champ charges at Noble, who powerslams him for a two count. Noble looks for the Tiger Bomb, but one of Tajiri�s henchmen comes running in. Noble tosses one over the top rope and knocks the other down off the apron before turning around to face Tajiri, who spews green mist at him. Noble blocks the mist with his forearms and DARES Tajiri to come after him! Tajiri goes for a roundhouse, but Noble blocks it and hits his Tiger Bomb! ONE�TWO�NO!
Noble charges at Tajiri in the corner, but Tajiri catches him and tries to hook on the Tarantula. Noble is able to block it and attempts a Tornado DDT. Tajiri blocks that, but Noble actually puts the Tarantula on the champion!
Noble lets go and heads to the top rope. Tajiri�s henchmen try to knock him off, but he kicks both of them down to the floor. He leaps off the top (with the DREADED double axe handle attempt), but Tajiri catches him with a kick to the midsection. Tajiri hits the STIFF KICK~! to the back of Noble�s head and covers the man for the pinfall.
Winner: Tajiri
My Opinion: Given the amount of time these two were given, I was pleased with the match up. All it really does is add fuel to the fire, as the issue between these two hasn�t been solved at all. I didn�t mind Tajiri retaining the way he did at all, since they�ll probably meet on Smackdown with some sort of stip to keep his henchmen away. Keep building to that match, fellas�*3/4
The PPV starts with its usual video package hyping up tonight�s matches. Pyro hits and we hear John Cena�s music as the Smackdown 10 man elimination match is up next!
Team Lesnar vs. Team Angle in a Survivor Series Elimination Match
Match Background: Jones and Morgan join Lesnar, Holly joins Angle, Farrooq is injured, Cena offered 5th heel spot, turns it down, gets beat up, joins as 5th man of face squad.
The Match: I�d be remiss if I didn�t question why this match would be on first.
Anyway, John Cena comes out first and cuts a pre-match rap on the heel team before his teammates come out to their separate entrances. For those of you curious out there, Hardcore Holly did NOT receive nearly as big of a pop as he did on Smackdown. I didn�t understand the reaction to the man to begin with. Either Jersey really loves Hardcore Holly for some strange reason or they�re just REALLY hyped up for his return. I don�t know why, he�s never proven to be anything special.
The heels also come to the ring separately, with Brock coming out last. As he hops onto the apron for his usual entrance, Hardcore Holly knocks him down and immediately goes to the floor to attack Lesnar. Holly whips him into the steel steps and pounds on him with right hands until the referee tries to intervene. He shoves the ref down and continues to go after Brock until his teammates have to pull him off in order to give Holly some restraint. It�s too late, however, because Holly has already been eliminated due to a disqualification.
In the ring, A-Train is working over Bradshaw and hits an avalanche in the corner. He knocks him down and sets him up for a corner splash, but Bradshaw gets a boot up. Train is staggered and Bradshaw bounces off the ropes and nails him with the Clothesline from Hell to eliminate A-Train and just like that, the match is down to 4-4.
The Big Show comes in to face Bradshaw now and gets hit with a few right hands. Bradshaw goes for a Clothesline from Hell attempt but gets nailed from behind as he bounces off the ropes, so Show hits the Chokeslam and Bradshaw is eliminated to make the match 4-3 Team Lesnar. What is with these rapid fire eliminations? At least they�re getting rid of the crap early.
Cena comes in now and tries an FU attempt on Big Show�but the man is just too damn heavy. Show comes back with a headbutt and Cena is taken to the heel corner. Brock works Cena over a bit in the corner, but Cena is able to recover and hits a chop block to the knees. Cena then follows that up with a pair of rollups (which Brock seemingly BUMPS off of) for a couple of nearfalls. Brock pops up and clotheslines Cena down before tagging in Matt Morgan into the match. Morgan misses a legdrop, but hits a side slam before tagging in Nathan Jones. Jones and Morgan hit a doubleteam on Cena and then Jones uses his entire offensive arsenal on Cena. That being of course, the bodyslam�and the bodyslam. Brock tags in again and looks to hit Snake Eyes on Cena, but Cena slips out and hits the Throwback on him before tagging out to Benoit. Benoit goes to work on Brock with chops in the corner and then whips him hard into the far turnbuckle. He suplexes Brock, but the champion regains the advantage by tossing Benoit onto the ropes, ribs first. Show comes in to face Benoit and press slams him down hard! Show looks for the chokeslam, but Benoit counters it into a Crossface attempt�but Brock comes in to save Show. Show hooks on an abdominal stretch (with Jones holding onto Show�s hand for an assist) and then Show hits a unique legdrop for a broken up two count on Benoit. Show taunts the face team as the heels toss Benoit to the outside and work him over, but the rest of Team Angle comes down and brawl briefly with them at ringside until Benoit is back in the ring alone with Show. Morgan comes in to face Benoit, but gets dropkicked in the knee and then in the face. Angle comes in and he�s a HOUSE�EN�FUEGO~! He hits the Rolling Germans on Morgan, dropkicks Jones in the knee and hits a German on Brock! He knocks down Show from the apron as Cena comes in and knocks Brock over the top to the floor as well! Jones gets up and throws a Big Boot at Angle, but Angle ducks and he clocks Matt Morgan in the face instead! Angle tosses Jones over the top rope and Angle Slams Morgan for the elimination!
Nathan Jones comes in and holds Angle for a Show clothesline attempt, but Angle moves out of the way and Jones gets knocked down instead! Angle sends Show to the floor and hooks on the Ankle Lock onto Jones for the tap out elimination!
Brock then comes in from behind and picks up Angle, hitting the F-5 and Kurt Angle is eliminated!
The match is now down to Chris Benoit & John Cena vs. The Big Show & Brock Lesnar! Benoit comes in to face Brock and chops him in the corner. Brock sends him to the far corner and looks for a running shoulder block into the corner, but Benoit moves out of the way and Brock hits the ring post. Benoit starts working on the bad arm for a bit, but Brock nails Benoit with a back elbow. Brock goes for the F-5, but Benoit counters it into the CROSSFACE~! Show tries to come in, but he�s blocked by Cena! Brock turns the Crossface into a pinfall attempt on Benoit and gets a two count. Benoit looks for the Crossface again, but Brock�s feet are on the ropes. Both men get back on their feet and Brock goes for a clothesline�but Benoit catches it and slaps on the CROSSFACE~! again! Brock taps out to Benoit!!!
Big Show comes in to face Benoit and Cena as the fans taunt Brock about tapping out. Show charges at Benoit, who dropkicks him in the knee and immediately heads to the top rope! Show stands up as Benoit comes off the ropes with a flying headbutt to a STANDING Big Show! ONE�TWO�NO! Benoit goes for the Crossface on Show, but Show shoves Benoit off of him and into his corner, knocking John Cena to the floor. Apparently, the tag is made to Cena, but Show chokeslams Benoit! Show turns around (as the ref is tending to Benoit) and Cena clobbers Show in the face with his steel chain wrapped around his fist! Cena lifts Big Show up onto his shoulders and the building goes NUTS!!! Cena hits the F-U on Show and gets the pinfall and the victory!
Winners: Team Angle
Survivors: Chris Benoit & John Cena
Cena looks at the crowd with a look of disbelief on his face and then puts up the Word Life sign for a huge pop! Benoit gets up off of the canvas and shakes Cena�s hand to pretty much cement Cena�s face turn.
My Opinion: While I�m still dissatisfied with the fact that this match was the opener and was pretty short, it did accomplish a few important things. First and foremost, it established John Cena as not only a babyface, but as a high ranking player as his push continues. There�s no doubt in my mind that there will be issues between himself and the Big Show over the F-U and most likely, a U.S. title feud, which is what Cena needs right about now. Secondly, Brock tapped out to Chris Benoit, seemingly starting a program between the two for the WWE Title which has got smart marks wetting themselves over it as we speak. There have been rumors about this program for many, many months now, so it�s nice to see it finally come to fruition.
The work in the match was pretty good for the most part as the better workers were kept in the match for longer periods of time. Jones (who is atrocious) and Morgan (who�s inexperienced) weren�t in the match long and were eliminated quickly when the babyfaces got any opportunity to do so. A-Train�s quick elimination surprised me since he�s not THAT bad of a worker. Bradshaw didn�t even belong in this match, so I wasn�t hurt to see him go so early. I can understand that Hardcore Holly probably isn�t in the best ring condition and/or they�d like to save him real in-ring debut when he faces Lesnar on Smackdown, so once again, I get it. In the end, I�m pretty satisfied with the conclusion of the match as it gives some sort of general direction on the Smackdown side. **3/4
We now go to a backstage skit where Vince McMahon walks into Shane McMahon�s locker room. He asks Shane if he feels a connection, since both father and son will be taking on a pair of brothers in singles matches (Undertaker and Kane, respectively). Shane simply responds to telling Vince that he feels sorry for him. Vince walks away and runs into Stone Cold Steve Austin. They stare at each other momentarily and then begin laughing�until SCSA stops dead in his tracks and walks away.
That�s a nice touch, considering their history. Since both of their careers are essentially on the line, their thoughts on one another�s situation is understated, yet understood by both men.
Lita vs. Molly Holly
Match Background: After Molly Holly defeated Gail Kim for the WWE Women�s Championship, they decided to team up in order to eliminate their biggest female rival, Trish Stratus. After several weeks of successfully defeating Trish, they were set to take her out when Lita made her comeback after being out for over a year from neck surgery. At Unforgiven, Lita and Trish teamed up to take on Molly and Gail and Lita was able to pin the women�s champion. Since then, she�s made it perfectly clear that she wants Molly�s Women�s Championship. She won a #1 Contender�s battle royal to see who would face Molly at tonight�s PPV and since then, Molly and her co-hort Gail Kim have targeted Lita�s neck. Tonight, Lita will finally face Molly for the Women�s Championship, her first title match in a very, very long time�
The Match: The women lock up and the crowd is immediately behind Lita as she gets a hiptoss and a monkey flip for a two count. Lita takes Molly to the outside and rams him into the apron before tossing her in for another pinfall attempt. Lita just tosses Molly with a snap suplex and then nips up. Molly whips her into the corner, so Lita tries a head scissors attempt, but is simply tossed over the top rope to the outside by the champion.
Molly rams Lita�s back into the guard rail before tossing her back in for a two count. She hits a neckbreaker, with Lita holding her neck, for another two count. Molly (who looks SMOKIN� tonight) hooks on a neck vice and pounds Lita to the mat when she tries to escape. Molly hooks on a Dragon Sleeper onto Lita, but she�s kicked her off. Molly whips Lita into the corner and hits her handspring elbow before taunting the crowd, like a good heel.
Lita fights out of the corner and then pulls herself to the top, hitting a cross body block for a two count! She tosses Molly into the far corner and clotheslines her before connecting with 10 mounted punches. Molly goes for a clothesline, but it�s ducked by Lita and she rolls up the champion for a two count. Molly catches Lita as she comes off the ropes with a side slam for a two count and then tosses her face first onto the mat a few times. Molly then mounts Lita in the corner for some punches of her own, but Lita walks out of the corner with Molly on her shoulders and powerbombs her down!
Both women are down now, but get up before the 10 count (which the crowd is chanting along with, so you know they�re into it). Lita hits a side Russian leg sweep and goes to the top rope for a Moonsault�but Molly moves out of the way! Molly heads to the top and hits the Molly Go Round! ONE�TWO�NO! Molly tosses a tantrum (looking mighty fine doing so) and then goes to one of the corners, exposing the middle turnbuckle. Lita rolls her up for a close two count, but Molly gets up and trips her into the exposed turnbuckle! Lita goes into it face first and Molly covers her for the three count!
Winner: Molly Holly
My Opinion: I�m absolutely fine with the finish of this match up as there hasn�t been enough of a chase for Lita. She just came back so I wouldn�t want WWE to blow their load, so to speak, by giving her the title already. Molly has been a fine champion and she�s one of, if not the, best worker in the women�s division currently. Besides, for those clamoring for a Lita title win, next month is a Raw PPV. She�ll win it then. **
We get a video package for the following match up.
Shane McMahon vs. Kane in an Ambulance Match
Match Background: Prior to SummerSlam, Kane Tombstoned Linda McMahon on the top of the steel ramp on an edition of Raw. The following week, Shane McMahon vowed revenge and tried to take the monster out with a couple of chair shots. That definitely didn�t work and these two began feuding.
This started a ton of far fetched skits where Kane electrocuted Shane McMahon by his testicles, Shane knocked Kane into a burning dumpster only for Kane to never be found inside and Shane trying to literally kill Kane again by trapping him in a limo before crashing it into a tractor trailer. These two had a Last Man Standing match at Unforgiven, with Shane McMahon getting most of the offense on Kane before blowing his load on a huge jump and losing because of it. The issues between the two were far from solved, so Shane proposed a final match between the two, an Ambulance Match.
Then, the silliest skit between the two took place on Raw as Shane McMahon literally invited Kane to have dinner with him�.so he could talk trash to his face. Surprisingly enough, Kane accepted Shane�s invitation and came all dressed up, only to get insulted and not respond. Oh, what a feud.
Tonight, this abortion of a feud finally ends and personally, I just want it to be over with.
The Match: As Howard Finkle explains the rules of this match (get your opponent in the Ambulance and close the door), the ambulance backs up and parks near the entranceway.
As an ominous sign for how bad this match is going to be, Kane�s pyro goes off�and the ambulance is pretty much parked right on top of it! The ambulance backs up, seemingly unharmed as it goes off while Kane makes his entrance. I can only imagine what the driver of the ambulance must have been thinking�and who he or she complained to about it. Shit, that�s more interesting than this match to me.
Shane comes into the ring and immediately dives at Kane, sending them both over the top rope. Kane almost lands DIRECTLY ON HIS HEAD, but we can�t get a clear shot of it. Shane goes for a flurry of punches on the ground, but Kane gets up and hits him with a clothesline before tossing him into the steel steps. Kane picks up the steel steps and walks over to Shane, but Shane hits it with a chair, knocking Kane down with the steps on his face. Shane continues to beat on the steps, to rip off a spot from their last match, even though its CLEAR that the steps are doing NO DAMAGE TO KANE AT ALL.
Shane starts to set up the Spanish Announce Table and hits Kane in the head with a TV monitor. Shane sets him on the table for his top rope elbow and he hits it! Shane then gets up and pretty much taunts Kane to follow him through the crowd, so Kane obliges. They go to the back�and lose the video feed and the fans begin to boo. Kane follows Shane�but ends up losing him until Shane appears from behind and hits Kane in the back with a large kendo stick. He begins beating Kane with it and then gets into an SUV. He backs it up into a metal security booth, crashing into it and supposedly injuring Kane. He then gets on a walkie talkie�and says �Send it�. If it�s a nuclear bomb, please hurry. This match cannot be saved.
An ambulance begins backing up near the area, as Shane had apparently set this up. Shane opens the doors and pulls out a stretcher to put Kane on�but Kane gets up. Kane tosses him into a concrete wall several times and drags him back towards the arena, losing video feed AGAIN and pissing off the live crowd who would definitely prefer to see action taking place in front of them.
They make their way back towards the entrance and Kane throws Shane into the ambulance a few times. Shane�s head cracks the windshield a bit, but Shane is ok enough to recover and drive Kane into the side of the ambulance a few times. Shane then opens the back doors into Kane�s face a few times, hitting him with a sickening thud. Shane looks to put Kane in, but Kane shoves him away and hits him with a big boot. Kane tosses Shane in and looks to close the door, but Shane blocks it from shutting and comes out swinging. Shane messes up a Tornado DDT attempt�and then they practically do the spot again (with a lot of awkwardness) resulting in the SLOWEST FLOAT OVER DDT EVER. Shane then gets a trash can out and nails Kane with it�and then trips. Shane then places the can on Kane�s midsection, placing some sort of object in front of him before climbing the ambulance. Shane leaps off of the ambulance, dropkicking Kane in a Van-Terminator style, landing on the object he placed in front of him to break his fall. Shane pulls Kane up and tosses him in, but Kane blocks Shane from opening the door. Kane then pulls Shane into the ambulance and we can�t see what�s going on�which is good for horror movies, but NOT for wrestling. Shane falls out of it and Kane tosses him into the ambulance again, back and head first several times.
The crowd starts chanting for Shane, but Kane says that it�s time to end it�and he Tombstones Shane on the floor. He tosses Shane into the ambulance and the match is over.
Winner: Kane
My Opinion: So this is what this was all leading to, huh? All of the time dedicated on Raw, SummerSlam and Unforgiven to these two, just to have a stupid match with tons of production errors, silly backstage action and an incredibly lame finish?
I mean, let�s think about it. This match was made because supposedly, nothing was solved from the Last Man Standing Match. Fine. But come on�Shane ended up MORE banged up from that first match! This match was made an ambulance match because it was supposed to be more brutal than the Last Man Standing and the opponent had to be VERY incapacitated to win. As far as letdowns go, this was the equivalent to the Matrix Revolutions.
The part that really bugs me the most is that it really didn�t accomplish ANYTHING. Supposedly, this entire feud was to put over Kane in the end, right? He was this huge monster and all that�yet, he�s beaten down by the bosses son. Now, when this feud began, I was all for it because I figured after one match, it would be over. Then, it continued and dragged on with pointless skits and it was obvious that it was not only hurting Kane, but it was costing someone on the active roster a spot. These matches would have been so much more beneficial if it had been an actual worker than Shane McMahon. Kane defeated RVD and he moved on�but oh no, he can�t keep Shane McMahon down, right!? Ugh.
So, they build up this HUGE blood feud between the two (where Shane McMahon shouldn�t have lasted one match, let alone a couple of PPV�s) and the final match is complete and utter bomb. If this isn�t he worst feud of the year, then I don�t know what is. I�ll give the feud -***** and this match a -**, since everything that they did to each other in this match is balanced out by its stupidity, bad spots and bad brawling.
We now go to the back, where Josh Matthews is with Brock Lesnar. He asks him how he feels about losing to Team Lesnar�but Lesnar says that he didn�t lose. Josh points out (and risks his life) by telling him that he DID tap out. Brock takes offense to it and gets in Josh�s face, letting him know that he wasn�t the only one out there tonight who dropped the ball and he can take on and beat ANYONE single handedly.
All of a sudden, Brock stops talking as he looks at someone off screen. The camera pulls back to reveal�.Goldberg!
Goldberg introduces himself with a smug look on his face asks him if he�s going to wish him luck in his title match tonight before walking away. Lesnar does not look happy as the fans chant Goldberg�
Well, what do you know. The build up for the eventual match up between these two (to most likely take place at Wrestlemania 20) is already underway in a subtle fashion. It�s too bad that Lesnar is the heel in this situation as the fans were behind Goldberg. Lesnar > Goldberg in so many different ways that I�m not even going to waste any more time typing about it.
The confrontation did remind me, however, of last year�s Vengeance PPV, when Kurt Angle met Brock Lesnar for the first time on a co-branded PPV. If these two do face each other, Goldberg and Brock, it doesn�t even need the titles to be on the line for there to be an insane amount of heat as they�ve been compared to one another since Brock�s debut last year.
Back in the arena, The Coach comes to the ring, wearing a neckbrace as a result of the Dudley�s 3D last week on Raw. He gets on the mic and starts to ham it up, thanking the fans for their concern in the most condescending way possible. Coach�s shtick as a heel is just great. I wish he were an actual worker or at least a manager, because the guy is going to waste. He�s about to leave, but then asks the production crew to turn his music off because he spots a face in the crowd: Dallas Maverick owner, Mark Cuban.
For some strange reason that I absolutely cannot understand, this guy gets an insane pop from the Dallas crowd. Now�I�ll admit, I don�t know much about basketball, but why on earth is an OWNER of a team getting such a huge pop?
Coach asks him for an interview and Cuban agrees. Coach asks him what he�s looking forward to the most and he says that he�s looking to Austin beating Bischoff�s ass tonight, once again�to a pop. At least that�s understandable. Coach then says that�s nice and all�but it�s not going to happen, so he�s going to ask him another question.
Coach then asks him his opinion on WWE refs vs. NBA refs�and Cuban says that all refs suck. Bischoff cuts Coach off and goes into the ring, calling out Cuban. Cuban jumps the rail at the request of the crowd (to a pop bigger than most workers are getting these days�AND A CHANT) and goes into the ring with Bischoff. Bischoff asks him �so, what�s on your mind?� and Cuban takes the mic from him to a pop. I�m so bewildered by this segment. Then, he confuses me even more by simply handing the mic back to Bischoff without saying a word! Bischoff tells him that tonight, he�s rented the building�so he can have throw him out if he wanted to, or he so it himself. He then shoves Cuban back�so Cuban shoves Bischoff to the mat, all with a ridiculous look on his face like he�s about to crack up laughing. All of a sudden, Randy Orton turns him around and hits the RKO on him to a chorus of boos.
Evolution�s music plays as he and Bischoff walk to the back. EVOLUTION IS A PISSED MARINE~!
I can�t believe we just wasted 10 minutes JUST to put over Randy Orton. This guy is getting way too big of a push and I can�t understand for the life of me what he�s done to deserve it. This was time we could have given to the Smackdown opener!
In the back, the rest of Evolution is with a bunch of women. Triple H, not satisfied with the funbags he has at home, has a bunch of women ogling him and takes off his shirt to a bunch of squeals when Flair interrupts for a toast. He toasts Trips as the new World Champ already�and Orton comes in during the celebration to brag about what he just did. He�s cut off by a girl playing with his nipples (literally) but remembers what he has to say. Mark Cuban is now a �legendary owner� of the Dallas Mavericks, which reiterates Orton as a Legend Killer. WHAT THE HELL IS WITH MARK CUBAN? Am I MISSING something here?
We go to the next match as Michael Cole says that on Smackdown, the wrestlers are in the spotlight, not the announcers. I get the dig on Raw, but how can they even say that when half of their time is devoted to Vince, Stephanie, Sable and a bunch of other people BESIDES the wrestlers?
The Basham Brothers (w/Shaniqua) vs. Los Guerreros
Match Background: A couple of weeks ago, The Bashams won the tag straps from Los Guerreros. After losing the straps, Chavo berated Eddie, bringing up Eddie�s past with drugs and alcohol, which upset the older Guerrero. He went to the ring and made a passionate speech about his life before the Bashams came in and jumped him. Chavo only came in to save him afterwards, furthering suspicion that Chavo would eventually turn on him. Eddie was INCENSED at the Bashams for what they did, so he asked Paul Heyman for a match against them, where if they won�they�d get their tag title rematch. Heyman agreed, but only to a handicap match, which Eddie won.
Their tag title match was scheduled for this past week on Smackdown, but a police officer (with horrible acting) told Eddie that one of his family members (it escapes me who, exactly) was in a car accident, leaving Chavo to face the Bashams in a handicap match. The tag title match was rescheduled for tonight�s Survivor Series, but unlike Eddie, Chavo was unable to defeat the Bashams in his handicap match.
The Match: The Bashams come to the ring wearing new S&M gear on their chests.
The Guerreros rush into the ring and go to work on the Bashams, clearing the ring to an �Eddie� chant. They go after Shaniqua, which is when the Bashams attack and send Chavo into the ring to start the match up. Eddie comes in and dropkicks Danny Basham into the corner before hitting his rolling vertical suplexes. Chavo comes in and nails Danny in the face with a dropkick before tagging Eddie back in for a slingshot senton. Eddie hits his headscissors/armdrag combo on both brothers, but he�s dropped onto the ring ropes before getting thrown to the outside and clotheslined by Shaniqua.
Shaniqua then slams Eddie on the floor, talking trash the whole time before the Bashams throw him back into the ring for a two count. Eddie looks to tag Chavo, but gets cut off and sent into the heel corner. Double slingshot suplex onto Eddie gets a two count for the Bashams and he�s put into a submission hold. Eddie fights out of it and hits a head scissors to get some separation and tag in Chavo. He takes on both men and hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker on one of the Bashams that left his head so low to the ground, a big injury could have occurred.
Chavo ends up getting double flapjacked and the Bashams set Chavo up for their 2nd rope Spinebuster. Eddie intervenes and saves Chavo before hitting a rana off the top onto Doug for a two count. Eddie is tossed to the outside, leaving Chavo alone in the ring, but he�s able to counter a double team before he and one of the Bashams ends up double clotheslining each other, leaving all 4 men down. Shaniqua distracts the official and the Bashams switch, but it doesn�t matter as Chavo dropkicks him and clotheslines Shaniqua when she comes into the ring. Eddie goes up top and hits his Frog Splash on Shaniqua to a big pop!
Eddie tells Chavo to spank Shaniqua�and he does! Doug Basham comes in to break it up and Chavo goes for a Tornado DDT. As he spins, his legs connect with Eddie�s head, knocking his partner down and Chavo is rolled up by the other Basham for the three count.
Winners: The Basham Brothers
After the match, Eddie is obviously upset with Chavo kicking him in the back of the head accidentally�but nothing comes of it.
My Opinion: With the recent drama between Eddie and Chavo, I figured that it was a given that they wouldn�t win tonight. I almost expected Chavo�s eventual turn to come tonight, but they just continue to add fuel to the fire. This time, however, it seems as if Eddie has a legit beef with Chavo and not the othe way around. That may change things, only time will tell. The Bashams really don�t deserve the tag straps at all. Their in ring work isn�t good enough to warrant a title run, nor are their characters over in the slightest. If they didn�t have Shaniqua, they�d get no heat at all.
The match itself wasn�t great but its not like the Guerrero�s had much to work with. I�ve heard so many things about the Bashams when they were in OVW (under different names and actually feuding with each other) but so far, they�ve shown me nothing. *3/4
We go to a video package for the Raw Elimination match, focusing on Austin and the possible end of his career.
Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin
Match Background: After Stone Cold Steve Austin was revealed to have bad neck problems in February, he was �fired� by Raw GM Eric Bischoff. Bischoff, however, did a ton of things in his tenure as sole GM that upset a lot of people, so Linda McMahon decided to give him a 50/50 partner: Stone Cold Steve Austin. It�s been made clear for years that these two men have never really gotten along (Bischoff fired Austin when he ran WCW), so this wasn�t something that Bischoff was pleased with. They continually tried to out do each other, having silly competitions and one upping each other when it came to match making over the past few months.
As his tenure as GM, Austin was doing something that no other GM had ever done before. He was actively attacking other wrestlers whenever he saw fit. Linda McMahon then made the stipulation that if he should stay on as GM, he would not be able to hit anyone without being physically provoked first. This has taken its toll on Austin as many heels, especially Jericho and Batista as of late, have taunted him and called him a coward. Austin had been growing extremely frustrated with this rule, so when Eric Bischoff proposed this Survivor Series style match, he readily accepted. Should Austin win, he�ll be allowed to beat up anyone he saw fit at any time. If he were to lose�he would have to relinquish his spot as General Manager of Raw and in effect, his career.
As for the men on each team, Austin asked Booker T, RVD and the Dudley Boys to be a part of his team. The last man on his team was a man that he squared off with at Wrestlemania 14, Shawn Michaels.
On Bischoff�s side, Chris Jericho jumped at the chance to take out Austin, as he�s been at the forefront of the rally against him and his bullying ways. Christian sided with Jericho as well, as did Scott Steiner, Mark Henry and Randy Orton, all for varying reasons.
So now�its time for the elimination match, with everything on the line for Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The Match: Eric Bischoff personally leads his team to the ring together. Teddy Long is seconding Mark Henry as well as Stacy Keibler coming to the ring unwillingly with Scott Steiner.
Austin leads his team to the ring as well.
Before the opening bell, Jericho gets in Austin�s face to say goodbye in person�
The match begins with D-Von Dudley taking on Christian. The announcers continue to try and use the silly �CLB� catchphrase with Christian as he slaps D-Von in the face. D-Von comes back with a clothesline for a two count and tags out to RVD. RVD hits a spin kick on Christian for a two count, but Christian is able to tag out to Jericho. RVD hits two shoulder blocks in the corner on Jericho and flips back for a third, but switches it up instead by hitting a Northern Lights Suplex on Y2J for two. Jericho then connects with an enziguiri to RVD�s head before tagging out to Scott Steiner. Steiner goes to work on RVD in the corner, but RVD is able to score with a cross body for two. RVD hits a spin kick to the top of Steiner�s head for two�..but almost gets dumped on his HEAD by an overhead belly to belly suplex. Steiner hits a second belly to belly suplex, this time of the spinning variety, before hitting a third�off the top.
RVD is able to make the tag out to Booker T, who comes in and goes to work on Steiner with tons of chops. Steiner clotheslines Book down and hits an elbow drop for a two count. Booker comes back with a knee to the midsection and hits his axe kick�and the SPINAROONIE~! The heels come in, but Booker takes care of them, hitting a spinebuster on Steiner for a nearfall. Now all 10 men are brawling, leaving only Booker and Steiner in the ring. Steiner hits Booker T low and then hooks on the Steiner Recliner for the first time in a LONG time. Stacy Keibler gets on the apron, cheering for Booker, distracting Steiner. The Dudleys come in and hit their double team neckbreaker, allowing Booker T to hit the Book End on Steiner and he�s the first man out!
Mark Henry now comes in (complete with a mountain of sweat dripping down his backside in his unflattering ring attire) and almost immediately hits the World�s Strongest Slam on Booker T to eliminate HIM! Now that�s just wrong. If Henry really needed to go over someone in this match, it should have been D-Von.
RVD now comes in and kicks Henry multiple times in different places, only to get clotheslined. RVD is able to tag out to Bubba and he comes in only to get avalanched. Bubba is able to get a moment of separation and tags D-Von in, but Henry is able to take them both on. He whips D-Von into the corner and goes for a big splash, but D-Von moves out of the way and Bubba sneaks back in to hit the 3D! All of a sudden, RVD lands on Henry with the Five Star Frogsplash and both he and the Dudley Boys get on top of him to pin Henry!
Jericho comes in and goes to work on RVD, chopping him in the corner. RVD does his cross body fake, hitting his split legged moonsault on Jericho, but Y2J gets his foot on the ropes. Orton comes in to face RVD and he just MURDERS RVD with a big clothesline in the corner! It only gets two, however, so Orton continues to beat down on him. RVD is able to come back and gets a kick off the 2nd rope, followed by Rolling Thunder before he heads to the top rope. Jericho shoves him off the top rope, causing RVD to land on the rough�and Orton capitalizes with the RKO, eliminating RVD.
D-Von comes in and back body drops Orton before hitting a legdrop for two. He hits a side slam and a headbutt off the top rope for a second two count. Jericho comes in, but gets lit up by D-Von in the corner with chops. Jericho counters and gets a missile dropkick off the 2nd rope for a broken up two count. D-Von goes for another cover, but Christian distracts the ref�causing D-Von to go after him and Jericho hits his sleeper drop for the pinfall and D-Von is out.
Bubba comes in and he chops the hell out of Jericho in the corner. He whips Jericho into the corner and then holds him up for a couple of seconds before side slamming him for a two count. Bubba tags in HBK for the first time in the match and he gets a big pop.
How ironic is this question? My brother tells me that he saw Confidential this weekend, which showed a classic Rockers vs. Orient Express match up. He then asked me �Who was that guy that Michaels was partners with back then?� Poor, poor Marty.
Marty�s former partner mounts Jericho in the corner and connects with a few punches before Christian causes a distraction to give Y2J the advantage. Orton and Jericho double team Michaels before leaving Orton in the match to deal with his rival. HBK holds onto the ropes as Orton attempts a dropkick and both men are down. Bubba comes back in and goes to work on all three heels, Christian especially and gets a broken up two count. Bubba hits a Samoan Drop on Orton and goes for the Bubba Bomb on Jericho, but Y2J goes low, allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier and eliminating Bubba�leaving Shawn Michaels against Chris Jericho, Randy Orton and Christian.
Christian begins to put the boots to Michaels, but HBK is able to hit a flying forearm and kips up to take advantage. As Christian whips HBK to the ropes, Jericho and Orton hold the top rope down and beat up on HBK on the outside. HBK comes back in and fights back against Christian, but gets tripped up by Jericho and pulled to the outside. He�s catapulted into the steel ring post�and comes up bleeding like a stuck pig! When Michaels wants to blade�HE BLADES LIKE A MAN!!
Christian suplexes Michaels back in for a nearfall and then goes to work on the wound. Michaels begins to fight back wildly, with the blood loss definitely affecting him, so Christian tries to hook the Unprettier. Michaels shoves him off, into the corner and then hits a desperation Sweet Chin Music as Christian charges to eliminate him!
Jericho comes in and starts beating on the wound as well. The crowd is solidly behind Michaels and he chops Jericho in the corner, but just can�t get a lot of offense going. Jericho knocks him down with a hard clothesline and tags in Orton. Orton chokes Michaels and screams �BLEED, YOU SON OF A BITCH� as he does so. He whips Michaels to the ropes, but ends up on the wrong end of a sleeper before being able to hit a back suplex and tag in Jericho. Jericho goes to the 2nd rope and leaps off, but Michaels lands a kick to the midsection and a DDT! He crawls over for the cover�ONE�TWO�NO!
Orton comes in, only to get tossed to the outside! Jericho hits the bulldog, but HBK puts his knees up when Jericho goes for the Lionsault and the fans are going NUTS! Both men are down and both Austin and Bischoff are extremely jittery. HBK gets up slowly as Jericho does and goes for the superkick, but its ducked and Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho. HBK rolls up Jericho though and he�s eliminated! It�s down to HBK and Orton! Jericho jumps into the ring with a steel chair and NAILS Michaels in the head with it to a chorus of boos. He gives the finger to Austin and lets him know that chairshot was meant for him�.
Orton, still recovering from being tossed to the outside, crawls back in and covers Michaels�ONE�TWO�NO!!!!
Orton heads to the top and goes for his cross body, but Michaels ducks and Orton crashes into the referee instead! Michaels uses the ropes to get to his feet and sets himself up for Sweet Chin Music! Bischoff gets into the ring and kicks Michaels in the ribs�.so Austin gets in the ring and knocks Bischoff to the floor! He hits Orton with a Stunner to a HUGE pop and begins beating the hell out of Bischoff, taking towards the entrance.
All of a sudden, Batista comes into the ring and hits a HARD sit down powerbomb on Michaels and leaves through the crowd! Orton begins to crawl over�and gets on top of Michaels. ONE�TWO�THREE!
Hit the music!
EVOLUTION IS A LINT MACHINE~!
Winners: Team Bischoff
Survivors: Randy Orton
After the match, Austin just looks on at a bleeding Michaels in disbelief. He gets into the ring, just looking at him, watching him bleed. Austin kneels beside him and they begin to speak. Michaels gets up slowly�and tells Austin that he�s sorry. Austin picks Michaels up and HBK looks him right in his eyes and tells him that he�s truly sorry, he tried his best. Austin, obviously can see that, with the blood pouring out of Michaels head. They shake hands�and walk down the ramp together. As he walks down the ramp, the crowd chants Austin�s name�
My Opinion: This was one of my favorite matches this year. The match had more emotion than any that I�ve seen in quite some time. It had a great build from beginning to end and aside from a few moments, the work in it was very, very good. Scott Steiner had his best night in WWE so far in this match up, even though he was only in the ring for a brief amount of time. Practically everyone was booked properly as well.
What I enjoyed the most out of it was the storytelling. In the end, it was Stone Cold Steve Austin�s last hope, Shawn Michaels, a man that he had a very storied and rocky history with, facing off against his two biggest rivals this year: Chris Jericho and Randy Orton. Michaels bloodletting definitely added to the emotion as he was trying to overcome insurmountable odds to help Austin at any cost�and after the match, Austin didn�t give the man a Stunner for the loss, he shook his hand.
I�d be remiss if I didn�t point out the few faults in the match up. For example, Mark Henry in no way shape or form should have gone over Booker T in the fashion that he did. Also, I think the story would have been a touch better if at the end, it was Michaels and Jericho, who had a great, great match at Wrestlemania this year. Not only would it have rekindled that rivalry, but it would have had Jericho on the heel side, the man that wanted Austin gone the most. Either way, he made his point and kept the focus on the true meaning of the match when he nailed Michaels with the chair and let Austin know what it was for. Another thing that I didn�t care for was Randy Orton going over so much in this match. He got the pinfall on Michaels AND the pinfall on RVD. He�ll probably be in line for an IC push now that he�s pinned RVD, but that�s just more of a reason why I feel it should have been Jericho and Michaels at the end of it all. ****1/4
After the match, the glass shatters and Austin makes his way back to the ring. He gets on THE STICK~! and makes a heartfelt speech (he sounded a bit choked up) to the fans in Texas. He lets them know that his career started in Texas and even though he�s highly upset about the way he went out, at least he went out where he started. He thanks the fans and begins to celebrate when all of a sudden, Coach�s voice booms through the PA system, singing the �Na na na na� song. He comes down the ramp with a few security guards and lets Austin know that he�s here for the post match interview he requested. He wants to know�just how it feels to know that his career is over.
Austin answers with a right hand and takes out all of the security guards before stomping a mudhole to Coach! He hits a Stunner and drinks a couple of beers and leaves a couple in the ring as a tribute and a vintage Austin moment.
I honestly didn�t think that Austin�s team would lose the match, but now that it�s over, I wonder what will happen with Austin�s character. I�m positive that he�ll be back sometime prior to Wrestlemania to have one last match, but I�m curious as to how it�ll be done. Knowing Austin, he probably chose to go out this way instead of staying on with his TV role, seeing as how he hasn�t liked the creative direction in quite some time.
We go to Michael Tazz and Cole, who talk about Austin before switching gears to their main event. A video package airs for �Taker/Vince.
Vince McMahon vs. The Undertaker in a Buried Alive Match
Match Background: At last month�s No Mercy, Vince McMahon cost The Undertaker the match and essentially, the WWE Title. Vince McMahon told him that as long as he�s breathing, he�ll never be the WWE Champion. After Stephanie was choked out by her father in last month�s �I Quit� Match, Paul Heyman was the new GM of Smackdown and one of his first duties as GM was to make a Taker vs. Brock & Big Show main event. Should Taker win, he could name whatever match against whoever he wanted. Taker won the match�and stated that he wanted a Buried Alive match with Vince McMahon.
We then got a bunch of pointless and silly skits that I�d rather not talk about because they make Baby Jesus cry.
The Match: In a nice touch, we get Tazz�s Keys To Victory for this match.
Taker comes to the ring first, followed by Vince who comes to the ring with his hands bound in prayer in front of him. He gets into the ring and kneels in one of the corners to pray. He turns around and faces Taker in the middle of the ring, telling him that he�s protected by a higher power. Taker wants to hear none of it and responds with a right hand to the face.
Vince begins bleeding profusely off the right hands and Taker continues to beat on Vince in the corner. Vince is just GUSHING blood from his head as Taker continues to beat on him relentlessly. Taker then takes Vince by the legs and rams his knees into the ring post before crotching him with it. Taker takes Vince to the other corner and crotches Vince again using the ring post. Vince spills to the outside, ramming his head into the announce table, telling him �this is for my wife�, since Vince threatened to have her raped on Smackdown a few weeks ago.
Taker begins choking Vince out�and blood is just POURING OUT OF HIS HEAD! Taker takes one of the TV monitors from the announce table and hits Vince in the head with it. Taker continues to beat on Vince�s FACE with right hands as the man practically bleeds to death on national TV. He tosses him back into the ring and Taker nonchalantly talks towards the entrance, where the �graveyard� is set up. He picks up a shovel and brings it back to the ring�.where he SMACKS Vince in the head with it!!!
He then goes retro by using the steel steps to try and break Vince�s ankle like he did 4 years ago. Taker takes Vince and picks him up, carrying him towards the grave site. He sets him down at the base of it and climbs to the top of it to get better leverage. He moves to pick Vince up, but Vince commits his first act of offense by tossing dirt into Takers eyes. He then low blows Taker�takes the shovel and smacks him in the face! Taker falls into the grave, but he�s quickly up and pulls Vince into the grave!
There�s a huge machine set up next to the grave site to dump the dirt on�and Taker looks to go inside. He opens the door slightly and an explosion goes off! Taker stumbles towards the grave site and Kane comes out of the machine! He pulls Vince McMahon out of the grave and knocks Taker in! Vince climbs into the machine as Kane raises one arm in the air, ala Taker. Vince turns the machine on and a ton of dirt falls onto the grave, burying Taker and the match is over!
Winner: Vince McMahon
My Opinion: For the most part, this was a complete squash by Taker. Not to be outdone by Shawn Michaels, Vince McMahon bled a hell of a lot during this match, but don�t get it confused with workrate. Basically, he just took a hell of a beating until the end, where he got off a couple of shots that did almost nothing to the Undertaker.
Then, comes the finish. Kane vs. Taker Part 63 will eventually take place at Wrestlemania 20 or whenever Taker decides to come back. With Kane being a Raw talent, this means we�ll be seeing a lot more of Vince on Raw, so at least Taker got the man off of Smackdown�right?
As for an explanation as to why Kane and Vince would be in cahoots, there was a segment months ago on Raw when Vince tried to control Kane, but nothing came of it. I don�t think it�s a coincidence that he Tombstoned Linda and feuded with Shane�and that�ll probably be revealed tomorrow. As for this match, I�m just glad its over. DUD.
Goldberg vs. Triple H (w/Ric Flair) for the World Heavyweight Title
Match Background: After the SummerSlam debacle between Triple H and Goldberg, the two men met one on one at Unforgiven with the World Heavyweight Title on the line against Goldberg�s career. The match was pretty much a given that Goldberg would win because of it and he did.
Triple H then set up a $100,000 Bounty on whoever could take Goldberg out, causing Goldberg to be attacked repeatedly by a ton of different people. Finally, Batista returned to WWE and rejoined Evolution after �Pillmanizing� Goldberg�s ankle and collected the money. Triple H didn�t even appear on most Raw�s during Goldberg�s reign, but on the last episode, he interfered in the Goldberg/Batista match, going for the ankle again. Tonight is Triple H�s rematch for the World Title. Will the title go back to the waist it was custom made for?
The Match: Trips comes to the ring with his biker shorts again, oh and Ric Flair. Jim Ross lets us know that Triple H has never won at Survivor Series�but he said that Trips had a big undefeated streak going into SummerSlam and look what happened there.
Goldberg comes to the ring with his ankle still in a cast.
As slowly makes his way to the ring and a slugfest begins when Goldberg gets into the ring. Flair distracts the official as the match hasn�t even started yet�and Goldberg spears Triple H! Uh oh�maybe he just got it out of the way since Trips is going to go over.
Goldberg poses for the crowd and Flair gets in his face and chops him. Goldberg knocks him down and back body drops him before sending him to the outside and then the bell finally rings.
Goldberg immediately sends Triple H to the outside and they brawl near the announce table. He tosses him into the steel steps and slams him onto the guard rail before they make their way back in. Triple H knees Goldberg in the midsection and bounces off the ropes, only to get powerslammed. Goldberg then presses Trips, but his leg gives way and Goldberg falls to the canvas. Triple H then chop blocks Goldberg as Flair gets on the apron and distracts the official again. Triple H tosses him to the outside and tosses Goldberg into the steel steps, positioning his ankle onto them. Trips then grabs a chair and smacks the champion�s ankle with it like Taker did to Vince a couple of minutes ago.
Triple H goes back into the ring for a breather as Goldberg clutches his ankle in pain on the outside. Flair attacks Goldberg�s ankle on the outside, ramming it into the ring post before Trips sends him back into the ring. Trips hits another chop block and continues to work on it with a few stomps to the cast. Flair gets a few chokes in as Trips argues with the ref. Triple H sets the champ in the corner and hits a chop, which seemingly wakes him up until Triple H goes back to the ankle.
Trips sends Goldberg to the outside, where Flair is able to work on the ankle as well and Triple H is getting so much offense in this match, I�m starting to think he might not win. He tosses Goldberg back in and knee drops Goldberg�s ankle before putting on a half crab. Goldberg really doesn�t sell a damn thing as he just stares blankly down the aisle instead of screaming or reacting to the crab. Triple H goes to ram Goldberg�s ankle into the ring post, but Goldberg shoves him away.
Back in the ring now, Triple H works on the ankle some more in the corner until Goldberg is able to shove him away and clothesline him. Goldberg goes for another powerslam, but he can�t hold Trips and he slips out to chop block him again. Trips then goes for a figure four as a tribute to Flair, allowing Goldberg to shove Trips away and into the ref, who�s downed. Triple H pulls out a pair of brass knuckles and knocks Goldberg down with it! ONE�TWO�NO! Triple H then elbow drops THE REFEREE and goes underneath the ring to get the Sledgehammer!
He goes over towards Goldberg, but gets kicked away! Flair tries to come off the top onto Goldberg, but of course, he�s thrown off. Goldberg then picks up the Sledgehammer himself! He nails Flair in the midsection with it as Triple H backs off! Batista comes in and tastes the steel�as does Orton! Triple H knees Goldberg from behind and goes for the Pedigree, but Goldberg back body drops Triple H! He picks up the Sledgehammer again�and tosses it away! He gets ready for the Spear�and HITS IT! He hits the Jackhammer! ONE�TWO�THREE!
Winner: Goldberg
My Opinion: Well, what do you know. I�m shocked, I don�t know about you. I figured Triple H was going to get it back tonight, JUST to torture me. Well, at least the PPV didn�t end too badly.
The match itself was a snoozefest with Triple H working on the ankle the whole time and Goldberg�s selling was spotty at best. Even the spear and Jackhammer at the end didn�t get the pop that Michaels was getting in the Raw 10 man tag, so the fans weren�t really into it. I�m sure a number of fans out there were actually surprised that Goldberg retained. Am I happy about it? I don�t care for Goldberg, that�s no secret, but Triple H as the World Champ again is just boring. 3/4*
Overall: I can definitely see this PPV getting a lot of heat due to the results. Outside of the first and last match, all of the heels went over�and considering who was in the main event, I gave up on a happy ending to this show after the Vince/Taker match. The Raw 10 man was great, but everything else was pretty dull outside of the Smackdown 10 man. It�s matches like those that made Survivor Series such a popular event to begin with. Take a hint, WWE.
The only thing that I can say with assurance is that it SEEMS like there is some direction and some interesting angles and matches up coming out of tonight�s show. We�ll have to see what happens on Raw and Smackdown this week.
�Til next time,
The Dames, Damian Gonzalez
Remember�I didn�t type up 14 pages for nothing. If you have something to say, ANYTHING AT ALL, send it to [email protected] or [email protected].
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