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The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Royal Rumble 2004
Posted by The Dames on Jan 26, 2004, 02:50
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The Dames� Diatribe on WWE Royal Rumble 2004
Before I start this Diatribe, I�d like to make something very clear to everyone here. Some people were a bit confused by my comments from the Raw Diatribe from last week where Goldberg won the #30 Battle Royal to become the 30th entrant in the Royal Rumble. While I do think that Goldberg has a great chance of winning the Rumble, you people have all forgotten that I HATE Goldberg.
I want Chris Benoit to win, not Goldberg. However, every single time that Benoit comes anywhere close to winning anything of importance, whether it be the King of the Ring, a match against one of the very top guys or a WWE Title Match, for whatever reason, he�s never gotten past the �glass ceiling�. I don�t want to be disappointed again, so while I want Benoit to win with every fiber of my being, I won�t believe it until I see it. They�ll probably tease the shit out of it, only for them to have someone they want to shove down our throats eliminate him, like Randy Orton or Mark Henry.
Goldberg on the other hand has the stigma of being #30, the entry with the best chance�which has also never won the Rumble. Even if the rumors are true and Goldberg�s last night is at Mania�then I don�t put it past the company to bury the guy by giving him the title shot and making him look like a big choker at the biggest event of the year. Not only that, but they�ll justify that by having Triple H lose the title to someone that night to send the fans home relatively happy, only to win it back the next month.
It looks like the cynic in me has finally come out, thanks to Benoit�s booking as of late.
I will GLADLY EAT MY WORDS if Benoit wins because DAMMIT�I WANT TO BE WRONG!!!
Plus, I have 10 bucks on Benoit anyway.
Onto this years Royal Rumble, coming from Philly!
Bonus Heat Match:
Molly Holly vs. Victoria (w/Steven Richards)
Match Background: A couple of weeks ago on Raw, after a tag match between Molly & Victoria against Lita & Trish, Victoria took a shot at the women�s champion. Tonight, this is a non-title encounter.
The Match: Wow�Victoria is looking HOT tonight. I don�t know whether it�s the clothes or the new hairstyle or what�but I�m digging it.
The women lock up and Molly takes the advantage with a hammerlock, but its reversed. Victoria takes Molly to the mat and puts on a side headlock. Molly hooks on a head scissors and Victoria bridges out into a Molly backslide for a two count. Victoria comes back with a dropkick, but Molly trips Victoria into the second turnbuckle. Molly connects with a basement dropkick to the face for a nearfall and follows it up by raking at it. Molly hits the handspring elbow for a nearfall and begins tossing Victoria into the mat face first. Molly hooks on a submission hold as Steven Richards gets the crowd rallying behind Victoria. Victoria counters with a reverse neck breaker (which J.R. calls a jawbreaker) and follows it up with an Oklahoma Roll for two. Victoria ducks a clothesline and rolls up Molly for a two count before hitting a pair of clotheslines on the champion. Victoria slams Molly down and hits a standing moonsault for a nearfall. Molly gets up and lands a knee to the midsection and heads to the top rope. Victoria stops her and looks for a superplex, but Molly shoves her off. Victoria crotches Molly on the top rope and places her on her shoulders! She walks towards the middle of the ring as she hooks on the Widow�s Peak and nails it for the clean win on the women�s champion!
Winner: Victoria
My Opinion: I�m not exactly sure when it happened, but the fans were behind Victoria in this match up and popped for her victory. This definitely places her at the top of the list of female competitors for Molly to face in the future. They clicked well together in the few minutes that they had with each other and I think they could definitely do something decent if given more time. *1/2
The PPV starts with its usual video package, building up tonight�s title matches, Eddie vs. Chavo and the Rumble itself as the Road to Wrestlemania begins. It�s top notch as always as WWE has always been excellent at producing videos like this.
Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler are joined by The Coach, who just wants to see The Dudley Boys go down after they 3D�d him on Monday.
Ric Flair & Batista vs. The Dudley Boys in a Tables Match for the World Tag Team Titles
Match Background: At Armageddon, The Dudley Boys outlasted all of the teams involved to seemingly retain their tag team titles, but Raw GM Eric Bischoff informed them that there was one team left, Ric Flair & Batista. The fresh Flair & Batista came in and dominated the Dudleys, who were very worn down after squaring off with at least 3 teams in that contest, winning the tag straps from them.
A rematch was made and took place on Raw a few weeks later, but Evolution was able to retain the tag titles with the help of their leader, Triple H. The rivalry continued as D-Von squared off against Batista in a singles match and Flair got involved. The Dudleys looked to put Flair through a table, but it was not to be. The same thing occurred on Monday, but this time, The Coach stepped in to run interference and ended up tasting the wood instead.
The Match: Philly has always loved the Dudley Boys, thanks to their time in ECW, but they�re now being announced from New York City and have been for the past few months. When Batista and Flair come to the ring, Batista has a mic and cuts off the music. As they walk up the ramp, Batista compares the Dudleys to the Philadelphia Eagles for being three time losers in championship situations to get them some heat.
The Dudleys run towards them and begin brawling with them down the ramp towards ringside. Flair lands some hard chops on D-Von as Batista battles with Bubba on the other side of the ring. Batista misses a punch and hits the ring post as the Dudleys fetch a table. Bubba shoves the folded table across the ring, nailing Batista in the midsection in a unique way to use it as a weapon.
They finally go into the ring to start the match officially and D-Von nails Flair with a powerslam. They set up the table in the middle of the ring and look to double suplex the 16 time former World Champion through it, but Batista comes from behind and shoves the table out of the way. It actually bounces off the ropes and lands on both Dudleys and Flair on the way down. They Dudleys doubleteam Batista and D-Von sends him out of the ring as Bubba props the table up in the corner. Flair gets up and lays into Bubba�s chest with LOUD chops, but Bubba gets a boot to the midsection and drives Flair face first into the table in the corner. He then hits his Dusty Rhodes tribute on Flair, but Batista comes in from behind with a clothesline. Batista takes down D-Von in the corner as well and Evolution is in control.
A lot of weak brawling takes place until Batista rams his shoulder into the ring post on a missed shoulder charge. The Dudleys hit their super neckbreaker on him before concentrating on Flair. Flair gets slammed off the top rope, of course, and the Dudleys set up the table in the ring again. They look to 3D Flair, but The Coach gets on the apron, only to get tossed into the ring by Bubba. He rips Coach�s shirt off, revealing taped ribs from the attack last week and set him up for the Wassup headbutt. Flair knocks Bubba over, saving The Coach and D-Von jumps off the top rope with a clothesline on him. Batista comes into the ring and nails a spinebuster on D-Von through the table to end the match.
Winners: Ric Flair & Batista
My Opinion: Since when do table matches end after just one person is put through a table? This match pales in comparison to some of the earlier table matches, especially the one that took place 4 years ago at Rumble �00 between the Hardys and the Dudleys. This was incredibly short and featured some of the weakest brawling I�ve seen in quite some time. Where do Flair & Batista go from here? There don�t seem to be any good babyface teams on Raw besides the Dudleys. 3/4 *
Post-match, an out of breath Coach announces Evolution as still the tag champs as they all walk up the ramp together.
In the backstage interview area, Josh Matthews interviews John Cena about winning the Royal Rumble. Cena, naturally, goes into a rap but gets cut off by RVD, who finishes Cena�s rap with his initials. RVD jokes about it before walking away as Cena says that RVD might be a little high tonight. He finishes his rap by brandishing his new multi-fingered ring which reads: �Word� and �Life�. Very cute segment.
Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) for the WWE Cruiserweight Title
Match Background: Jamie Noble�s girlfriend, Nidia, was blinded by Tajiri�s mist a few months back. Since then, she�d become a liability to Noble at ringside, causing him to lose some matches. This started to bother him until he used her to his advantage, putting her in harms way in order to get distractions and win matches. One such time, Rey Mysterio saw this and told Nidia what happened, but she refused to believe him.
Two weeks ago, Jamie Noble defeated Tajiri for a shot at the Cruiserweight Title, currently held by Rey Mysterio, by once again using Nidia to his advantage. Last week, Noble paid the F.B.I. some money in order to soften Rey up for their match tonight.
The Match: Jamie Noble sets Nidia up in a corner before he goes into the ring to wrestle Mysterio. They get things going very quickly as Noble elevates Rey up onto the apron, only to get head scissored down and set up for the 619. Rey looks to hit the move, but Noble gets up quickly and elevates him into the air and down hard onto the mat. Noble sends Mysterio into the corner and connects with a hard chop before suplexing Rey onto the top rope for a two count. He gives Rey a STIFF kick to the back and gets another two count out of that. Rey rolls Noble up for two, but he pops right back up and nails a clothesline.
Noble puts on an abdominal stretch on the mat, but Mysterio battles out of it. Rey connects with an elevated dropkick and a spinning rana before following it up with a bulldog for two. Rey springs off the 2nd rope with a cross body attempt, but Noble kneels down and catches him with a gut buster. Noble looks for the Tiger Driver, but Rey blocks it. Noble goes to the ropes, but gets tripped up by Nidia who is walking towards the other corner. The distraction allows Rey to hit the 619 and he follows it up by Dropping the Dime and Rey retains his Cruiserweight Title.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
My Opinion: Once again, the cruiserweights are given the shaft when it comes to wrestling time. This was an incredibly quick, albeit fast paced, match up. Noble was bringing the STIFFNESS with his blows as Rey was his usual self, on point with all of his spots tonight. It was decent, but we all know these two can do a hell of a lot better if given 10-15 minutes. *1/4
Post-match, Noble argues with Nidia about her accidentally costing him the match up as they walk up the ramp.
A video package on Eddie vs. Chavo airs.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/Chavo Sr.)
Match Background: Eddie and Chavo have been tagging as Los Guerreros on Smackdown for over a year now, but have recently began to have problems. The same week that Eddie Guerrero lost the U.S. Title to the Big Show (back in October�s No Mercy PPV), Los Guerreros lost the tag titles to the Basham Brothers. Chavo blamed it on Eddie and since then, their relationship hasn�t been the same. Chavo had been coming down on his uncle verbally and after Los Guerreros lost a tag title shot against The Bashams, Chavo slapped his uncle in the face. Kurt Angle then got involved, trying to patch things up between the two Guerreros, who seemingly were both willing to put it behind them.
In a tag title rematch with the Bashams, once again, Eddie was pinned after some illegal tactics. The Bashams then beatdown on Eddie�and Chavo did nothing but watch at ringside. Seething with anger towards his uncle, Chavo came into the ring, helped Eddie up�and knocked him down with a right hand. He rained punches on his uncle until he busted him open.
Eddie, extremely hurt by his nephew�s betrayal, was told by Kurt Angle that his brother, Chavo Sr., was coming to apologize on behalf of his son. Eddie met with Chavo Sr. in the ring, but it turned out to be a set up as both Chavo Sr. and Jr. beat up on Eddie Guerrero. The following week on Smackdown, Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero teamed up to take on Chavo Sr. and Jr., but Eddie was pinned by a Chavo Jr. frogsplash, Eddie signature maneuver. Tonight, the stage is set for Eddie to take on his nephew at the Royal Rumble and he�s out for revenge.
The Match: Chavo comes to the ring with his father, who will be at ringside. Eddie comes to the ring in a Low Rider, but he�s still using the �Viva La Raza� music instead of �Latino Heat�.
Eddie stares a hole through Chavo as he walks down the ramp and gets into the ring. They lock up, jockeying for position, but Eddie just shoves Chavo away. Chavo then slaps Eddie in the face and the crowd chants for Eddie Guerrero. Eddie charges at Chavo and backs him into the corner, forcing a ref break. He looks like he WANTS to hit him with a right closed fist, but opts not to.
Chavo charges, only to get taken to the mat quickly and outwrestled. Chavo backs Eddie into the corner and nails him with a big chop as he gets away. They lock up once again, only for Eddie to back Chavo into the corner and nail him with a big chop of his own.
Chavo locks up with Eddie and connects with two shoulder tackles, giving him reason to celebrate. They begin exchanging HARD chops until Eddie gives Chavo a thumb to the eye and Chavo backs away into the corner. Eddie takes Chavo down and hooks on a reverse armbar, but Chavo gets up and gets a rana on Eddie, taking them both over the top rope and to the outside.
Chavo goes into the ring and while Eddie uses the ring steps to get back in, Chavo Sr. turns the corner and trips Eddie up on the steel steps. Chavo then goes to the outside where he tosses Eddie into the announce table before tossing Eddie back in again. He looks to nail Eddie in the face with right hands, but Eddie blocks them and rolls him over to take the advantage. He looks to nail Chavo in the face with a right hand, but continues to hold back.
Chavo takes Eddie down again and looks to nail him again with right hands, but this time, Eddie counters with a leg scissors on Chavo�s arm. He straightens it out into a cross arm breaker, but Chavo makes it to the ropes. Chavo connects with a back suplex for two and then hits the Rolling suplexes on Eddie! Eddie rolls out of the third suplex and sends Chavo into the corner, but he charges into a back elbow. Chavo sets him up for a Tornado DDT, his old WCW finisher, but Eddie blocks it and nails the Rolling suplexes himself! He goes to the top rope and nails the Frogsplash for the clean win.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero
After the match, Eddie nails his brother, Chavo Sr. with a right hand. He looks to walk out of the ring, but turns around with an evil look in his eye as the fans chant �Eddie�. He lets his temper loose as he nails Chavo Sr. with a low blow and a right hand before concentrating on Jr. He mounts Jr. and starts wailing on his forehead with right hands. He goes back to Sr. and ties him to the bottom rope with Sr.�s neck tie. Eddie goes back to Chavo, who�s been split open above the eye, and continues to lay into him with boots and right hands to the face.
Eddie drags Chavo towards Sr. via his mouth and nose as Sr. begins yelling at Eddie �what did you do to your kin!?� Eddie continues the beating for a few more seconds and walks away to some cheers.
My Opinion: Well, Bret vs. Owen this was not. WWE teased this split for months and when their first one on one encounter takes place, it�s pretty much a cakewalk for Eddie Guerrero. There weren�t any teased nearfalls, no real suspense, nothing. Eddie just beat Chavo clean and that�s that. It didn�t even seem like Chavo gave him much of a problem, in terms of losing a wrestling match.
After the match up, it seems as if they were subtly turning Eddie heel as even Michael Cole stated that Eddie Guerrero was taking things too far. Hopefully, WWE will realize that doing that would be a mistake right now. This feud has done nothing more than hold Eddie back and pull him down when he was once the hottest act on Smackdown just a few months ago. While I don�t think the issues between the two are over (and hopefully they will be after No Way Out), Eddie needs to get away from the angle ASAP. *1/2
In the back, Josh Matthews is with Chris Benoit, who speaks about being the first entrant in this year�s Royal Rumble match. He�s interrupted quickly by Ric Flair and the rest of Evolution (minus Triple H), who are bragging about their tag title defense. Flair says that Orton is going to go on and win the Rumble before going on to address Benoit. Flair gives him his props for being the best technical wrestler in WWE today�but he�s never able to win the big one. The �brass ring� always seems to slide out of his hand, according to Flair.
Flair leaves Benoit to his thoughts as he pops some champagne and Evolution walks away. Tazz reiterates Flair�s point to Michael Cole�Benoit never seems to be able to get the major victory when he�s close to it.
They are teasing me here�Benoit won�t win the Rumble, right? RIGHT?!
Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly for the WWE Title
Match Background: On September 12th, 2002, Brock Lesnar met Hardcore Holly in a match on Smackdown. Hardcore Holly was sandbagging Brock in the match (acting as dead weight and not cooperating with him), so Brock dumped him on his head in a botched powerbomb�which broke Holly�s neck. Holly was out for over a year and came back at November�s Survivor Series. His goal has been to break Lesnar�s neck in revenge for what Brock did to him. However, because of Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman, who wants Brock to succeed, he kept Hardcore Holly away from Brock Lesnar for as long as possible.
Hardcore has been stalking Brock Lesnar for the past few weeks and then faced The Big Show on Smackdown. He took a steel chair and wrenched it around the neck of the Big Show, getting the victory, but also doing some damage to his neck. Show got some police officers to accompany him after that, putting out a restraining order against Hardcore Holly�and because of that, Brock Lesnar started following Show around. Now, the day has come where Brock must face Holly in the ring and Hardcore Holly has revenge on his mind.
The Match: To demonstrate just how un-over Hardcore Holly is here, no one makes a peep during his entrance music and the cameras hone in on what looks to be the ONLY Hardcore Holly sign in the crowd. The crowd, on the other hand, pops for Brock�s entrance.
Holly attacks as Lesnar jumps onto the apron for his ring entrance, knocking him down to the floor. Holly follows him to the outside, beating Lesnar about the neck and head with clubbing forearms, but Lesnar quickly recovers and looks for an F5 towards the ring post. Holly gets out of it and shoves Lesnar into the ring post shoulder first several times.
Holly goes to the top as Lesnar goes into the ring�but misses completely, landing on his side as Lesnar moves out of the way. Brock puts the boots to Holly and connects with a nice snap suplex before putting the boots to Holly again. Holly falls to the outside but Brock follows and rams him back first into the apron. Brock sends Holly into the ring and hooks on his rear gut wrench, squeezing the life out of Holly. Brock lets go and hits his delayed fishermans suplex, once again working the back of Hardcore for a two count. He hooks on the rear gut wrench once again as the fans don�t exactly seem enamored with this match up. Hardcore gets back up to a vertical base and Brock transitions into a bear hug. Holly fights out of it, but bounces off the ropes into a Brock overhead suplex. Brock once again puts on the rear gut wrench as someone in the crowd holds up a sign that reads �Cock Molester�. I�m surprised that got past security.
Holly gets back to his feet and elbows his way out of it. He connects with a couple of hand clotheslines, knocking Lesnar down and following it up with a dropkick. He then hits the Alabama Slam, the worst finisher aside from the World�s Strongest Slam, causing Michael Cole to freak out about the WWE Title changing hands. Since Holly is bent on revenge and doesn�t care as much about winning the title, he puts on a full nelson instead of going for the cover. Brock tries to get to the ropes, but Holly literally jumps on Lesnar�s back, forcing Lesnar backwards (OUCH) and holds onto the full nelson as both men fall to the outside.
Hardcore goes back into the ring to break up the count and grabs Lesnar as the champion makes his way onto the apron. He hooks the full nelson on again with Lesnar on the apron, but Brock jumps down to the floor, causing Hardcore to land throat first onto the top rope and snap his neck back. Lesnar gets up and hits the F5, goodbye Hardcore.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
My Opinion: So much for the �threat� that was Hardcore Holly. The fans didn�t really buy into Holly as a threat and many in the live crowd seemed pleased when Lesnar pinned him. The match itself was decent as Holly, a perennial brawler, had to keep away from Brock�s wrestling ability, but got caught too many times. Hardcore cranking back on that full nelson was pretty cool as it just LOOKED painful and definitely looked believable. However, the rear gut-wrench took too much out of the crowd who already didn�t want to see Holly in the ring with Brock. I could have sworn I heard a small �boring� chant during the match and I don�t blame them.
There might be a rematch on Smackdown in the coming weeks, but rest assured, the title isn�t going anywhere near Hardcore Holly. *
In the back, we see Triple H getting taped up for his upcoming match with Michaels as HBK is shown praying in his locking room.
A video package airs on the following match up.
Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels in a Last Man Standing Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Match Background: In 1997, Shawn Michaels and Triple H formed a stable called Degeneration X that would help the WWF reinvent itself using �Attitude�. The partnership saw Michaels win the World Title as HHH won the European Title, but it seemingly ended when Michaels went down with a back injury at Wrestlemania 14. The next night on Raw, Triple H reformed Degeneration X with new members and that version of the stable was a very popular act for the next several years. Triple H became the WWF Champion on several occasions and in July of 2002, he was a viable commodity in the company. At that time, Shawn Michaels returned to be with Triple H, but insisted on being a wrestler again�which caused HHH to turn on him. The two began their in-ring rivalry at SummerSlam 2002 where they met in a Street Fight which saw Michaels defeat Triple H clean after a 4 year absence.
Since that time, the two men traded the World Heavyweight Title back and forth with HBK winning it from Triple H at Survivor Series 2002, only to lose it back to him the next month at Armageddon.
After feuding with Triple H�s stablemate Batista a couple of weeks back, Michaels was then in line for a title shot against Triple H which occurred on the 12/29 edition of Raw. That match was absolutely incredible as HBK came extremely close to winning the World Title off of his former best friend, but wasn�t able to do so. Steve Austin then made a match between the two men to take place tonight at the Royal Rumble for the World Heavyweight Title...but he made it a Last Man Standing Match.
The Match: They lock up with Triple H backing Michaels into the corner and firing off with some right hands, but Michaels retaliates with right hands of his own, plus a couple of chops. They battle back and forth from corner to corner until they take it to the mat where they continually reverse each other until Triple H gives HBK a knee to the midsection. Michaels fires back with some chops, but puts his head down too early as he whips Triple H into the ropes and eats a facebuster. Triple H whips Michaels into the far corner HARD twice before following it up with a backbreaker, working on Michaels� back. HHH looks for another backbreaker, but Michaels counters and attempts a shin breaker. Triple H punches his way out of it (possibly covering for a blown spot), only to get caught by a dragon screw leg whip. Michaels quickly capitalizes with a Figure Four�and Triple H gets to the ropes to no avail as there is no rope break in this match.
Michaels breaks the hold after holding onto it for a bit and the ref counts Triple H down until the count of 2. Michaels dropkicks Triple H�s leg and asks the ref to count again, but Trips is back up at 3. Michaels charges, but Triple H pulls the top rope down and HBK spills to the outside. Triple H follows him out and clears both the Spanish and English announce tables. Trips slams HBK into the steel steps face first as he continues to work on the tables before placing Michaels on it. Triple H gets on the English table and looks to suplex Michaels through the Spanish table, but HBK blocks it and connects with a bunch of right hands. Triple H jumps off the English table (to a chorus of boos) and crawls back into the ring. Michaels jumps off the top rope, but gets caught with a boot to the midsection by Trips and he sets HBK up for the Pedigree near the ropes. Michaels backdrops Triple H to the outside and then fakes a pescado, landing on the apron instead. He then goes for a springboard cross body onto Triple H�but HHH ducks out of the way and Michaels crashes and burns into the Spanish announce table, busting himself WIDE open!
Michaels is now a bloody mess as the referee counts him down, but he�s up at the count of 7. Triple H goes to the outside and nails him with a right hand as we get a couple of replays of Michaels� big mistake. Triple H sends Michaels into the ring and begins to rain down on his wound, opening it up as Michaels is wearing the proverbial crimson mask. Michaels gets up, only for Triple H to knock him down again with right hands and demands the referee to count once again. Michaels gets up again, challenging Triple H to bring it on again, despite being on spaghetti legs. Triple H obliges and knocks Michaels down once again with right hands and the ref begins his 10 count once again. Michaels gets back up and tells Triple H to bring it on again as HHH yells at him to �Stay down, Shawn!� Triple H lands a few more rights, but Michaels battles back with rights of his own�only to get spinebustered by Hunter. The referee counts once again, but Michaels gets up again and Triple H is getting visibly frustrated by Michaels� tenacity. Triple H knocks him down again and grabs a chair from ringside. He CRACKS Michaels over the back with it and the referee once again begins to count as Michaels lays on the mat, bleeding.
Michaels gets up at 8 and Hunter can�t believe it! HHH sets Michaels up for the Pedigree onto the chair, but Michaels gets a double leg takedown, causing HHH to smack the back of his head onto the chair! Michaels catapults Triple H onto the ring post and then follows it up with a GUNSHOT OF A CHAIR SHOT to Triple H�s HEAD!
Triple H is now bleeding and Michaels goes on the offensive with right hands. Triple H sends Michaels into the ropes but HBK comes flying back with a flying forearm and both men are down, bleeding. Michaels nips up and he goes on the offensive once again, nailing an atomic drop and his top rope elbow. The place goes crazy as he sets up for Sweet Chin Music in the corner! He goes for the knock out blow, but Triple H ducks and hits a straight punch to the BALLS! Now THAT deserves (and gets) a replay!
Both men are down, but answer the 10 count at 8. Both men get up and Michaels hooks on a sleeper onto Triple H! He gets the champion down on his knees and asks the referee to count once again as he lets the hold go. Triple H gets up at 8 and Michaels attacks with right hands. Triple H retaliates with a desperation DDT and both men are down again! Michaels gets up at 8 as both men blast each other in the corner with right hands. These guys are a BLOODY MESS.
Triple H sends Michaels into the corner and Michaels flips onto the top rope! Triple H follows him up, looking for a super back suplex, but Michaels shifts his weight to land on Trips! Michaels gets up but Triple H is able to duck a clothesline and hits the Pedigree! Triple H gets up first, but charges as Michaels slowly gets up�.walking into SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Both men go down and the referee begins to count! Michaels begins to stir at 8�but falls right back down. The referee counts to 10 and the bell rings, disappointing the live crowd as well as thousands at home.
Result: A Draw. Triple H is still the Champion.
My Opinion: This was a good, bloody encounter which didn�t live up to their Raw match, but was still good in its own right. Michaels put on a great performance, bleeding his ass off for 20 minutes and selling everything like a pro. Triple H once again proved that he can work well when he wants to and that he�s got tremendous in ring chemistry with Michaels.
However, the psychology just wasn�t there for the most part. Triple H barely sold the leg after the Figure Four and Michaels didn�t sell the back much although he generally no sells it after his nip ups anyway.
The ending of the match probably upset a lot of people, but I can definitely understand why they made it a draw. After everything that�s happened between these two, they weren�t going to just have Triple H defeat Michaels clean and they wanted to keep the title on Trips, so in order not to ruin anyone�s momentum, they decided to end things this way�probably to settle things later on down the line. ***1/4
After the match, Batista and Flair come down to check on Triple H as stretchers are brought to the ring for both men. Trips is taken wheeled to the back, but Michaels gets off of his stretcher and decides to walk up the ramp on his own power to a pop.
We get a video package hyping up the Rumble match.
Tazz and Jim Ross are the announcers for the Rumble match, oddly enough and I believe this is the first time that they�ve worked together on a PPV.
The Fink goes down the rules for the Rumble�but is cut of by Eric Bischoff�s music. Bischoff has a microphone with him and makes sure to state that a Raw superstar will win the Rumble because Raw is better than Smackdown. He then badmouths Paul Heyman, claiming that Philly likes the guy because he ran some �rinky dink wrestling shows out of a bingo hall here�.
Heyman then comes out to some rockin� music (which is NOT the old ECW theme), walking to the ring like a total badass to confront Bischoff. He has a microphone of his own�but instead of saying something, he tosses the mic at Bischoff and tackles him! Bischoff ends up on top and starts wailing on Heyman when the Glass Shatters and Austin comes down in his ATV to a huge pop!
He chastises both men for rolling around the ring �like a couple of jackasses� and wants to know who started it. Both Bischoff and Heyman blame each other with Heyman hilariously trying to weasel his way out of it. �Please don�t stun me! I�ll drink a beer with you!�
Austin gives a Stunner to Bischoff and offers Heyman a beer. Of course�Austin then stuns Heyman to a pop and drives his ATV back up the ramp.
In the locker room, Goldberg is interviewed by Terri Runnels�but gets interrupted by Brock Lesnar! Lesnar says that it doesn�t matter what number Goldberg is because all that matters is the fact that he retained his title.
Goldberg: �You done puttin� yourself over, Brock?�
Brock: �No, I�m not!�
The last time Goldberg interrupted Brock�s interview (Survivor Series), Goldberg was the World Heavyweight Champion. Brock sarcastically wants to know what happened to his title. Goldberg says that it�s in the past, all that matters is that he�ll win tonight and go onto Mania. �Ain�t that right, Hardcore?�
Brock turns around, looking for Hardcore Holly, visibly shaken by the thought of having him somewhere behind him before realizing he was just made a fool of. He then insinuates that Brock is a coward before walking away�.
All I can say is: Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh.
The Royal Rumble Match: 2004
Match Background: This year is just like every other year, the winner gets a title shot at Wrestlemania. However, this is Wrestlemania 20, the biggest show in the company�s history, so everyone wants to be in tonight�s Rumble match. There are lots of A-list guys in tonight�s Rumble, all vying for the shot to be in the Main Event at WM.
This year, because of Paul Heyman, Chris Benoit is the first entrant in the match. Goldberg won the right to be #30. Everyone else�s number is unknown as competitors will enter the match every 90 seconds.
The Match: Benoit comes out first�and the number 2 entrant�is Randy Orton.
The men lock up and Benoit immediately stomps a mudhole into Orton in the corner. He connects with a clothesline and puts the boots to him before hitting a snap suplex. Orton fights back with some right hands and puts the boots to Benoit in the corner. Benoit connects with a knee to the midsection as Mark Henry is the next man in!
Henry goes right after Benoit, knocking him down before going after Orton. Benoit chops away at Henry, but Mizark fights back, only to get nailed from behind by Orton. Benoit goes after Henry in the corner as the clock winds down and Tajiri is the next man in.
Tajiri connects with some kicks to Orton and hits his handspring elbow on the IC Champ. Benoit and Tajiri lock it up with Benoit nailing him with two German suplexes. Henry tosses Orton over the top, but Orton hangs on and comes back in.
Bradshaw is the next man in and he immediately nails Orton, Henry and Tajiri with the Clothesline from Hell! Benoit goes after Bradshaw, only for Bradshaw to come off the ropes with the Clothesline from Hell�but Benoit turns it into the CROSSFACE~! Bradshaw stands up with him and looks to toss Benoit over�.but Benoit hangs on as Bradshaw falls out!
The next man in is Rhyno, who comes in and attacks both Orton and Benoit. Tajiri goes after Henry with his kicks and then follows it up with the Tarantula. Rhyno in the meantime is looking for the Gore on Benoit�but Benoit moves out of the way and he nails Henry, causing Tajiri to fall to the outside! Benoit then gets a running start and nails Mark Henry against the ropes. A second running start and Benoit knocks Henry over the top rope to a pop! Rhyno and Orton then try to toss Benoit out but Benoit headbutts Orton off of him to save himself. A replay shows that Tajiri sprayed the green mist in Henry�s face before the spin kicks�
The next man in is Matt Hardy, who doesn�t have the help of Shannon Moore this year. He nails everyone with right hands and connects with the Side Effect on Rhyno. Benoit tosses Hardy over the top, but Matt holds on and comes back in. Rhyno works over Hardy as Orton and Benoit tangle in the corner again.
The next man in is Scott Steiner, who comes in and nails everyone with clotheslines. He T-Bone�s Orton and gives Benoit a belly to belly suplex. He T-Bones Rhyno and then goes after Benoit again, but Benoit flips over him and hits a pair of Rolling Germans. Hardy looks like he�s about to eliminate Randy Orton, but Benoit ends up nailing him and Orton�s skin is saved.
The next man in is Matt Morgan who comes in and MURDERS Benoit with a sit out powerbomb! Matt Hardy nails him from behind, only to eat a big boot. Steiner suplexes Rhyno as Matt Morgan goes after Orton and everyone else is down on the mat.
The Hurricane is next and dives off the top rope onto Matt Hardy. He nails Matt Morgan with a few right hands, but Morgan no sells all of them and catches Hurricane�s cross body. Morgan tosses him off the top rope as Hurricane is eliminated the quickest so far tonight. Matt Morgan tosses Matt Hardy over the top but Hardy holds on and is just mere INCHES away from being eliminated! The gets a replay as Rhyno and Benoit get it on in the corner.
Booker T is the next guy in as Orton and Benoit hook up once again. Steiner goes after Booker immediately, but Booker dominates Big Poppa Pump in the corner. Booker goes after Orton and nails the axe kick on him as Matt Morgan works over Benoit. Rhyno goes after Matt Morgan now as Booker and Benoit hook it up.
The next guy in is Kane and as he comes into the ring, the replay shows Booker T eliminating Scott Steiner. Kane comes in and chokeslams Benoit�but Matt Morgan tries to power bomb him. Kane back drops out of it and hits a chokeslam on him! Matt Hardy goes for the Side Effect on Kane, but he hits a side slam on him. He connects with a big boot on Rhyno to counter the gore and blocks Orton�s RKO. Kane gets the chokeslam on Orton and is totally dominating this match up!
The next man in is�The Undertaker?? The Undertaker�s old school gong hits and the crowd goes NUTS! Kane starts screaming towards the rampway, not wanting to believe that his brother is back! Booker T nails Kane from behind and eliminates him! As Kane gets his bearings�Spike Dudley comes down the ramp as he�s actually the next guy in. Kane grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him on the steel rampway before walking up the ramp. Spike probably won�t be coming into the Rumble match after that. Everyone is brawling with each other in the corners of the ring as the clock winds down again.
Rikishi is the next man in and Rhyno is eliminated by Benoit as Rikishi makes his way into the ring. Rikishi nails everyone that moves, including a superkick to Matt Hardy. He gives Matt Morgan a quick Stinkface (without the usual set up, thankfully) and they begin to brawl.
The next guy is in Rene Dupree who does his French Dance at the top of the ramp! He comes in and nails Matt Hardy immediately. Rene suplexes Hardy onto the ropes and dropkicks him down to eliminate V1! Dupree does his dance to celebrate�and turns around into a Rikishi superkick. Actually, Rikishi pretty much missed but Dupree went over anyway. Booker T tries to take Rikishi over but he can�t cuz Rikishi is just too damn fat. Benoit and Orton are battling it out in the corner once again.
The next guy in is A-Train, who runs into the ring and goes right after Rikishi. Matt Morgan is choking Benoit out in the corner with his leg and tries a big boot, but Benoit moves out of the way. Morgan crotches himself on the top rope and Benoit shoves him to the floor, eliminating him!
Orton then eliminates Rikishi from behind as Rikishi and Booker T were trying to eliminate A-Train! A-Train nails Booker from behind and Orton tosses him over! A-Train goes after Benoit in the corner as Orton rests�
The next guy in Shelton Benjamin, who comes in as Benoit dumps A-Train! Shelton goes after Orton and brawls with him in the corner. Shelton goes for a superkick on Orton but Orton ducks and Shelton crotches himself! Orton tosses Shelton over and it�s just Orton and Benoit alone in the ring! I�m getting a SERIOUS Bulldog/Michaels �95 feeling from these two now. Benoit and Orton go back to each other with Benoit chopping the hell out of Orton. Both men collide heads as the time winds down to find out who the next guy is.
Lamont comes running down the ramp and introduces Ernest �The Cat� Miller. They both go into the ring and start dancing as Benoit and Orton are recovering. Benoit gets up and tosses Lamont from the ring (plus his fake afro) as Orton tosses The Cat! Benoit and Orton go after each other once again, with Orton gaining the advantage this time around.
The next guy in is Kurt Angle and the place pops for him! He looks like Super Angle with his ring attire tonight. Angle and Benoit immediately hook up, with Benoit just laying into Angle�s chest with chops in the corner. Benoit charges at Angle, only to get NAILED with a clothesline! Angle suplexes Benoit over and concentrates on him as Orton is recovering in the corner. Angle tries to toss Benoit, but Benoit won�t go.
Rico is next and Orton goes after him. Orton and Rico begin brawling in the middle of the ring and Rico gets the advantage. Rico looks to toss Orton, but Orton this a back elbow on him as Benoit hits Rolling Germans on Angle! Orton drops Rico over the top rope as it�s down to Benoit, Orton and Angle. Benoit goes to the top rope�and Angle pops up! He crotches Benoit and he almost falls down!!!!
The next guy in is Test�but he never comes down the aisle. Orton nails the RKO on Angle as we go to the back and we see that Test has been laid out. Austin begins yelling at someone unseen for costing his 21st entrant a chance at the Rumble�so he tells that guy to come out and be #21 instead. All of a sudden�Mick Foley�s music hits!!!! Mick Foley comes down to the ring and Randy Orton can�t believe it! Foley goes right after him in a hectic brawl and Foley beats Orton in the corner with tons of rights! He then sets Orton by the ropes and connects with the Cactus Clothesline, sending both men to the outside and both Foley and Orton are eliminated! Angle and Benoit are still in the ring as Foley rams Orton�s face into the steel steps! Foley wraps some cables around Orton�s throat as the next man comes down the ramp.
Christian comes in and attacks Benoit as Foley sends Orton into the timekeepers table. Foley picks up the steel steps�and turns around and nails Fit Finlay! Finlay was one of the officials who came out to separate the two! Orton nails Foley from behind with a chair and then whacks him again with a HARSH chair shot to the HEAD! Orton starts raining down punches all over Foley�s head and throws him down onto the steel rampway. Orton goes for another chair shot but Foley nails him in the midsection! Foley pulls out Socko and puts it on as the next man in is�Nunzio!
Nunzio walks by and gets Socko right in the mouth! Orton nails Foley with a low blow and Orton runs away from Foley. Foley follows to the back as we finally concentrate on the action in the ring again. Christian and Benoit are trying to toss Angle out, but Christian instead goes after Benoit. Nunzio is just sitting at ringside, trying to avoid getting into the ring! Angle suplexes both Christian and Benoit as the time winds down again.
The Big Show is the next man in and he goes after Angle immediately. He nails him with a headbutt and then goes after Christian with a HARD chop! He does the same to Benoit and I CAN FEEL THEM! Angle tries to brawl with Show, but Show swats him away. Christian goes after Show�and gets tossed across the ring.
Chris Jericho is next and he immediately starts teaming with Christian as he comes in and beats up on Angle. Show walks over and grabs both Christian and Jericho, headbutting them both! Jericho chops away at Show, only to get nailed in the corner with a big chop. Everyone in the ring starts trying to eliminate the Big Show, but Show fights out of it!
Charlie Haas in next and he runs in to go after Christian. Jericho comes in to run interference and they double suplex him. Nunzio is still looking on as Jericho and Benoit hook up briefly in the corner. Jericho tries to toss him, but Benoit hangs on! Christian tries to toss Jericho�but Jericho holds onto the apron. Christian goes to finish the job but Jericho nails him with a shoulder to the midsection and backdrops him over the top, eliminating his friend for the 2nd year in a row!
Angle suplexes Charlie Haas as Billy Gunn makes his return. He nails Angle and Jericho with the Fameasser and then hits it on the Big Show! Nunzio is still looking on as everyone is trying to eliminate someone else or vice versa.
Number 28 is John Cena, who comes out to a HUGE pop! The Big Show is STARING at Cena from in the ring�but Cena stops just short before going in as he notices Nunzio. Cena tosses Nunzio into the ring, so Nunzio goes after Cena when he gets in! Show chops the hell out of Cena�s chest and Nunzio actually tries to take Show over. Show looks at like him �are you kidding me?� and smacks him in the back, just to swat him away. Cena goes after Show with tons of right hands and looks to toss Show over�
But RVD is the next man in and he comes in with a spinning kick on Show that almost takes him over! RVD looks to take him over, but Jericho stops him and eats a spinning kick by RVD for it. Cena picks up Angle and delivers the FU!
Goldberg comes into the match to a big pop and he leaps in, hitting the SPEAR on The Big Show and Billy Gunn! He nails Angle with a right hand, same for Jericho and Cena. Charlie Haas goes after him and gets powerslammed! Nunzio jumps on Goldberg�s back and Goldberg still has the bearings to toss Charlie Haas over. Goldberg tosses Nunzio and goes into the corner with RVD. He suddenly CHARGES and KILLS NUNZIO DEAD with a HUGE Spear before clotheslining Billy Gunn out of the ring. He then picks up Nunzio and press slams him over the top rope to eliminate him.
Goldberg goes after The Big Show for the Jackhammer�but BROCK LESNAR comes in and nails him from behind. F5 TO GOLDBERG~!!! The crowd absolutely POPS for it!
Lesnar smiles as he backs up the ramp�Goldberg sees him now. �You�re NEXT, you son of a bitch!� Angle comes from behind�AND ELIMINATES GOLDBERG!!! YES! YES YES YES YES!!!! I LOVE KURT ANGLE!
The men left in the match are Angle, Jericho, RVD, Benoit, Cena and the Big Show! Everyone goes after The Big Show again�but they can�t get him over! Show swats them all away and nails them all. Show picks Cena up, but Angle clips The Big Show and he falls down holding him. RVD nails him with a legdrop, followed by Jericho delivering a Lionsault! RVD then goes to the top and hits the Five Star Frogsplash on the Big Show! Cena hits his humorous fist drop and Benoit follows it up with the HEADBUTT~!
Angle gets up and tells everyone to combine their efforts and toss Show over. Everyone grabs Show�but he�s dead weight and they can�t get him off the ground at all. You can clearly see Show speaking to them�but they just can�t move him. They can BARELY turn him and Show swats them all away again. Cena goes after Show�but Show tosses Cena over the top. OUCH!!!! Cena landed VERY BADLY and he looks like he might have torn a ligament in his knee.
RVD goes after Show in the corner, looking for a Monkey Flip, but Show tosses him over. Show tosses Jericho over the top, but he skins the cat and comes back in. Jericho nails The Big Show with a dropkick that almost takes him over�but Show swats him away. Jericho takes Show down with a bulldog and puts on the Walls of Jericho! Only Show, Jericho, Angle and Benoit remain as Show taps out to the Walls, but it doesn�t matter.
Angle breaks it up as Show goes after Benoit. Jericho tries to toss Angle, but gets nailed from behind by Show. Show grabs Jericho�and tosses him over the top! Angle goes towards Show and connects with some rights, but gets sideslammed. Show chokeslams Benoit�and Angle tries to waistlock Show! Show uses his ass to block it and looks to toss Angle. Angle fights out of it and Angle Slams Show! Benoit and Angle start battling after each other until Angle nails the Angle Slam on him!
Angle then asks the crowd who to eliminate and they want Show. Angle goes after Show and reverses a chokeslam attempt into a roll up�into the Ankle Lock! Show begins tapping out but ends up standing on one foot by the ropes. Angle continues the hold as Show starts leaning over the top! Show flips over the ropes�but holds on as Angle falls out of the ring! The last two men in the ring are The Big Show and Chris Benoit!!!!
With Show on the apron, Benoit goes to the top rope and hits him with a headbutt�but Show falls back INTO the ring! Benoit gets to his feet�but Show catches him for the chokeslam! Benoit counters into the CROSSFACE~! and Show taps out again! Benoit keeps the hold on to weaken The Big Show�but Show picks Benoit up and hits a side slam.
Show gets up�and he�s UPSET. Show starts talking trash to Benoit and picks him up for a press slam! He looks to toss him over the top rope�but Benoit counters it and hooks on a front face lock. Show places Benoit on the apron�.but Benoit is still holding onto Show�s head!
Benoit, using ALL OF HIS STRENGTH, is pulling down on Show�s head as he positions his legs underneath the ropes�and PULLS�AND PULLS�..and finally, Show is vertical! Show�.IS OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!! SHOW FALLS OVER THE TOP!!!!!
CHRIS BENOIT HAS WON THE FUCKING RUMBLE!!!!
Winner: CHRIS MOTHERFUCKING BENOIT!!!
My Opinion: Pardon my language�but HOLY SHIT! I can�t believe it! That finish was INCREDIBLE! I haven�t marked out this hard in a VERY LONG TIME!
FINALLY, Chris Benoit is getting the recognition that he deserves! I don�t care about the future, I don�t care about the rumors�GIVE ME THIS NIGHT! I just want to revel in this moment!
All marking out aside, this was a FANTASTIC Rumble, with Benoit pulling a Flair (since Michaels went #1 to the end with 60 second intervals) and defeating The Big Show at the end! He did what 6 men combined could not do, toss The Big Show over the top rope!
I don�t rate Rumbles, but I would say that this is just as good as the �92 Rumble, if not better for the clean finish. Aside from the Cat nonsense, this Rumble was a great experience from start to finish. I haven�t felt this satisfied watching a WWE event in so long, I don�t even know what to say.
Hey�I know someone who owes me some money.
...Yeah, I remember what I said at the top of the show.
Mmm...My words taste SO GOOD. If this is what it's like to be wrong, then baby, I DON'T WANNA BE RIGHT!
Overall: I�ll be honest, the Rumble made this event. The undercard was pretty terrible aside from the Raw Title match, which didn�t live up to the standards we were expecting. Still, The Rumble has always been the main attraction for this card and since this Rumble was spectacular, I�d say it�s worth purchasing the replay.
�Til next time,
The Dames, Damian Gonzalez
Send all feedback to [email protected].
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