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TNA
The Royal Treatment: Smackdown (7.15.04)
Posted by Peter Kostka on Jul 16, 2004, 11:39
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I�m back after a week sabbatical at the casinos (Mohegan, YAY; Foxwoods, BOO). I�d like to thank Nik Johnson once again for the pinch-hit last week, great job as always. His look at Vengeance is up for your perusal.
Seems like I missed a fairly eventful show last week, so let�s get to the fallout, with a title match sprinkled in.
One more thing: you�ll probably be seeing the recaps on Fridays from now on, since I don�t feel like staying up until 2 doing them each week.
Previously recorded in Providence, Rhode Island, at one of the world�s crappiest arenas (the Dunkin� Donuts Center) with one of the dumbest nicknames (�The Dunk�) in existence.
Tonight: JBL defends the WWE title against Eddie Guerrero in a steel cage match.
Booker T heads out to the ring, bringing back the pyro for some reason. He didn�t lose to Cena last week, so he should rightfully be the US champion, but he understands that Mr. Angle was under a bit of stress having to deal with Cena attacking him and all, so he�ll be more than happy to invite Angle to the ring now and accept his title. Rene Dupree comes out instead (Fifi Watch: black). He thinks someone with class and culture should be champion, and that could only be a Frenchman, since Americans name their arenas after doughnuts (it�s true, we�re so lame). They argue, and now Kenzo Suzuki joins the verbal tour de force, ranting in Japanese as usual. Rene has no clue what Kenzo is saying, so Booker helpfully translates, declaring Kenzo wants Booker T as the US champion. Hiroko provides the official translation, saying that the next US champion should love America and, by golly (ok, he didn�t say �by golly�, but I might have missed that class), Kenzo loves America. Booker challenges Kenzo to say something in English, so of course, Kenzo rips off Booker�s catchphrase. The three argue and John Cena comes out to a monster pop. At first, Cena thinks he�s witnessing the worst haircut on Smackdown contest, but he realizes that they are recreating the classic Wizard of Oz: Fifi is Toto, Hiroko is a heavily made-up Dorothy, Booker is the dumbest person on Smackdown, so he�s the Scarecrow, Kenzo has a heart, but he has no testicles, so he�s a good Tin Man, Michael Cole represents the Lollipop Guild, of course (wouldn�t Tazz be right next to him, then?), and Rene is the Cowardly Frenchman (�What, you think we�d call it the Croissant Arena or something?�) Cena came out because he�s still the champ, and if Angle won�t give him his title, he�s going to have to take it back himself. He heads backstage while the other three argue and finds the GM�s office. Angle tries to calm Cena, asking him �you wouldn�t hit a guy in a wheelchair, would you?� to which Cena lifts him up and goes to slug him, but Luther Reigns flies in for the save, and gets promptly thrown through the wall by Cena. Security holds Cena back while Angle promises that tonight �will be a night that no one will ever forget, especially YOU.� After Cena gets dragged out, Angle rolls to the wall to check on Luther.
Thoughts: We really didn�t need FOUR guys (and one woman) to get the point across that Cena wants his title back, did we? Way too long for what it was supposed to accomplish. You could have just had Cena ranting and raving for a few minutes before going to get his title back, instead of giving the other three guys some cute lines and just wasting time until Cena�s big entrance.
Rey Mysterio and Spike Dudley vs. Chavo Guerrero and Jamie Noble
This is a rematch of sorts after Noble pinned Spike in the 6-man tag last week. Cole points out that Spike�s brothers offered help in that match, but Spike turned them down. Spike and Noble start, and Spike takes control quickly, but Noble clubs him down and tags Chavo, but Spike trips him up and gets a small package for 2. Chavo gets a spinebuster and the heels double team, goading Rey to come in the ring to tie up the ref so they can keep cheating. Rey one-ups them by diving OVER the ref onto them and the heels bail, but the faces follow them out with stereo planchas. Back in, Rey tags in and takes control until Noble backdrops him to the apron and Chavo yanks him to the floor. They try the double team again, but Rey gets a double bulldog and makes the hot tag to Spike, who cleans house and hits a double stomp on Noble, but Chavo makes the save and hits a backbreaker, but Rey comes in and nails a 619 on Chavo. He gets Noble in position, but Chavo grabs his leg. Rey tries to dive onto Chavo, but he avoids and Rey splats on the floor. Back in, Spike gets the Dudley Dog on Noble, but Chavo breaks the pin. Spike chases Chavo to the outside and rams him into the barrier, but Noble hits the Tiger Bomb, but D�Von hops onto the apron to distract the ref while Buh Buh boots a 43 yard field goal through Noble�s legs and Spike gets the pin. His brothers shower him with praise as they walk up the ramp, and Spike yells at them to leave him alone.
Rating: 4.5/10
Thoughts: They didn�t get a whole lot of time, but they used what they had pretty well as Noble and Chavo worked well as the heel team and Rey and Spike added some crowd-pleasing dives. I actually like that little twist with the Dudleys; Spike doesn�t want their help, so they�ll just give it to him whether he wants it or not.
- RAW rebound
- We get a recap of the progression of the JBL-Guerrero feud from the GAB to last week, and the trainers check on Luther. Angle notes that he heard a popping sound in his knee when Cena picked him up, and wonders if that will affect his sleeping habits. He forgets about that for a minute to announce that Cena will face Booker, Dupree AND Suzuki in a 1 on 3 match tonight. And�..we take another break.
John Cena vs. Booker T, Rene Dupree (w/Fifi) and Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko) (1 on 3 elimination match)
Cena and Dupree start with Dupree getting an early advantage, but Cena ducks a clothesline and delivers a shoulderblock�.and we take ANOTHER damn break.
Cena dominates Dupree as we come back, forcing Rene to tag Kenzo, who gets slammed by Cena and covered for 2. Cena gets a knockdown, but Rene knees him in the back to turn the tide and Kenzo nails him with a Shining Wizard (with him getting so much air that he almost misses Cena completely) and chokes Cena in the corner. The ref admonishes him, but Kenzo hangs Cena in the Tree of Woe and continues choking Cena with Hiroko�s sash, which forces Nick Patrick to call for the bell and disqualify Kenzo. Well�.that was stupid of him.
Rene becomes the legal man and continues with the choking, following it up with some Outrageous, Arrogant, French Two-Stepping, but Cena trips him up and slingshots him into the post for the pin.
Booker comes in and controls, teasing the Spinaroonie but dropping a knee instead for a 2 count. He hits the chinlock and Cena tries to rally, but Booker plants him with a spinebuster for 2, following up with a thrust kick for another 2. Cena tries to steal the win with a small package, and a slugfest commences, which Cena wins and leads into the Fly Five (hey, I�m white), ending with the 5 knuckle shuffle for 2, and Reigns comes in with the predictable run-in, tossing Cena into the post and rolling him back in for Booker to finish him off with the scissors kick for the pin.
Rating: 2/10
Thoughts: Booker is probably the only one out of the four here that can piece together a decent match, although he needs help more often than not himself. You could see the Reigns interference from a mile away, and the heel eliminations were more due to the heel�s stupidity and arrogance than Cena actually doing something to earn them. I�m not awaiting the (probable) four-way match for the US title that this seems to be leading to.
- John Heindreich promo. No one ever gave him a chance, blah blah. Apparently Paul Heyman sees something in him. He�ll be gone in a month.
- Josh Matthews interviews Eddie Guerrero, who gives not his best promo, kind of going all over the map before stating he�s going to �get high� tonight and win the title back.
- Recap of the tag title switch last week.
D�Von Dudley (w/Buh Buh Ray) vs. Paul London (w/Billy Kidman)
D�Von controls early, focusing on the neck of London. He fights out, but D�Von gets a powerslam for 2. London gets a jawbreaker to fight back and hits a dropsault for 2. D�Von backdrops him out and Buh Buh whips him with his leather belt, but Kidman comes to the aid of his partner. Buh Buh hops onto the apron while D�Von goes for the Saving Grace, but London counters and tries to roll him up, but Buh Buh keeps D�Von on his feet until Kidman knocks him off and London gets the roll-up for the win.
Rating: 2/10
Thoughts: Almost nothing meaningful out of London here (and I�m not one who slobbers over London like others), while D�Von continues to prove why Buh Buh had a more �successful� singles career.
- In the back, Mr. Angle books Cena against Luther Reigns next week while he reiterates that this will be a night no one will forget. The cage lowers and JBL makes his entrance (shaking hands, but also casting a weary eye at the cage), and we take a break.
John Bradshaw Layfield � vs. Eddie Guerrero (steel cage match for the WWE title)
The fans are solidly behind Eddie right from the start, and JBL looks a bit apprehensive as the bell rings. He thinks about climbing out right away, but decides against it and gets pounded to start; he blocks getting rammed into the cage but gets suplexed instead for 1. Eddie ducks a boot, but JBL hotshots him into the cage to take control. JBL climbs (the cage door is chained shut), but Eddie cuts him off and we have the classic �blue moon� spot with JBL (always a crowd pleaser). Eddie ducks another move and tries a crossbody, but JBL catches him and hits a fall away slam. He tries to escape again and gets to the top, but Eddie pulls him back in on the second try after getting kicked away and rams him into the top bars of the cage, sending JBL to the mat. Eddie gets froggy, but that proves to be a big mistake as JBL is too fresh. He tries to escape again, but Eddie crotches him on the rope for 2, following up with the Three Amigos and going to the top, but JBL cuts him off and superplexes him to the mat as we take a break.
Quick Thought: I�m digging how the booking is going here where Bradshaw doesn�t want yet another battle with Eddie and is trying to just climb out and escape instead of wearing Eddie down to get the pin.
Coming back, JBL is in control and goes for the Clothesline from Hell, but Eddie counters with a dropkick and low blows him for 2. JBL hits a spinebuster and climbs again, but Eddie catches him on the top rope and legsweeps him to the mat in a nice spot. JBL grabs a sleeper, which he turns into a choke with his wrist tape, but Eddie gets to his feet and twirls around to get momentum before pushing JBL off into the cage. He rams JBL�s head into the cage twice, with not a drop of blood spilled and charges, but JBL backdrops him into the cage to stop the rally. Slugfest, but JBL ducks a punch and uses the momentum he has to hit the Clothesline from Hell, but Eddie kicks out at 2. And we take our final commercial break.
Quick Thought: Both guys seem to be showing the fatigue right now, but these commercial breaks are doing nothing but ruining any type of flow this one can possibly have.
JBL tries to escape again, but Eddie pulls him back in. JBL tries a fallaway slam into the cage, but Eddie counters with a nice tornado DDT, but it only gets a CLOSE 2. Eddie climbs now, and manages to get one foot over, but JBL grabs onto him, leaving Eddie bending backwards over the top, and pulls him back in, following up with a powerbomb, but Eddie gets the shoulder up at 2. JBL climbs once more, but Eddie catches up to him on the top rope and pushes him to the mat. The fans go nuts, thinking Eddie has it in the bag as he reaches the top of the cage, but Eddie had a promise to keep, so he turns around and nails a decent looking frog splash from the top of the cage, but of course, he�s too hurt by it to capitalize quickly. Both guys writhe on the mat as we see the replays, and Eddie drapes an arm on JBL, but he kicks out at 2. JBL gets a DDT and tries one more climb, but Eddie follows him up, leading to a slugfest on the top of the cage. Suddenly El Gran Luchadore (looking a little buffer, and a little balder) runs down and climbs into the cage, running to the other side and holding on to Eddie�s leg as JBL climbs over the top and falls the last few feet to the floor to retain. El Gran Luchadore tries the door to get out, but for some reason the refs refuse. Eddie realizes what happened, so Gran has to go out the way he came in , but Eddie catches up to him on top and tries to pull his shirt and mask off, accomplishing the latter. Yep, its Kurt Angle all right, somehow healed from the debilitating, career ending injuries he suffered. Someone�s been abusing the Worker�s comp system. Angle realizes he�s been revealed, and taunts Eddie as we fade to black.
Rating: 7/10
Thoughts: Like I said, the commercial breaks killed a little of the flow the match had (do you REALLY need two breaks in a match you�ve been hyping for two weeks?), but it was a very good cage match nonetheless. I would have rather seen this on a PPV, so there wouldn�t be any interruptions and lack of blood, which kind of silly since their last two matches had them gushing blood. I�m not sure about Angle coming back; I liked his �Professor X, the GM� kind of approach, and the (real) injuries are catching up with him.
Final Thoughts: Nothing offensive this week, but nothing outright good outside of the main event. It�s an improvement over the last few months, as we are actually seeing some sort of DIRECTION out of things. It will be interesting to see how the Board handles Angle duping them for the last few months. But they left out Angle firing the SD Divas, for some reason.
See you next week. Send feedback to this address
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