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TNA
SmackDown from JHawk's Beak: Christmas in Iraq II
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Dec 24, 2004, 21:23
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SmackDown: Christmas in Iraq II from JHawk's Beak (12/23/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
This isn't going to be your ordinary recap, but then again, this isn't your ordinary SmackDown. It's SmackDown in Iraq, and as such, a bit of a different format for this one. I'm well aware that those of you in England aren't able to see this show, so I'll do my usual detailed play-by-play from the arena. However, if it's like last year's show, there will be a lot of video packages from the WWE's tour of Iraq, and while it's usually pretty nice Confidential-like stuff, we're just going to bulletpoint most of it since it's usually just the Americans who would anyway.
Tonight: Live in Iraq, The Undertaker battles Heidenreich! Plus, Eddy Guerrero, Booker T, and John Bradshaw Layfield are all likely to be here. Rob Van Dam won't be there, which means useless Tag Team Title change #2083085949 coming your way shortly.
Segment 1
Welcome to Camp Speicher in Tikrit, Iraq (taped...um...12/18/2004 if I'm not mistaken), and welcome Mr. McMahon for a rare TV appearance. He's got the mic, and he tells us the WWE superstars have volunteered to be here. Remember that word -- "volunteer" -- when RVD gets depushed. But the real reason we're here is to thank the troops for all they do to serve their country. The secret weapon of America is the American spirit that lives within them. But all we hear at home are the negatives. We never hear about all the good things the troops do everyday, so when Vince returns home, he's going to tell the media that the troops say "Go to hell." Vince then introduces our ring announcer: Raw's Lilian Garcia. Makes sense since her father was in the Army. Plus, she can open with the National Anthem.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
What do you want me to say? A little too much posturing from Vince McMahon, but it served its purpose: Get the troops fired up.
Segment 2
Some troops say hello, and then we get footage of the WWE superstars boarding a military cargo plane before finally arriving in Iraq.
One fall: Rene Dupree vs. Booker T
Having Dupree wrestle in front of this crowd is a gutsy move, but give Dupree from credit for agreeing to it. A year ago he might have gotten eaten alive. Lockup, Booker backs Dupree to the corner, clean break. Lockup, Booker with a hammerlock, but Dupree comes back with the brawling. Booker regains control with some basic holds, then he rocks Dupree with a huge clothesline. Rene avoids a Scissor Kick, cowers through the ropes, then takes Booker down with a low blow. Dupree with elbows to the back to the head. Stomps. French Tickler, then a fistdrop for 2. Chinlock. Booker elbows out of it, then reverses a whip into a flapjack. Punches and chops. Double chop and a leg lariat. Spinebuster. Calling for it...SPINNAROONIE! Kick, Scissor Kick, pin at 3:39. *1/4
We talk to a woman who got sent to Iraq shortly after her husband returned to the States, and when she returns, his husband gets to come back. That sucks hard.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Not a bad opener given the time constraints, and the result was a given. The American's got to beat the Frenchman in front of the troops, and the troops are happy.
Segment 3
More well-wishes from the troops.
A look at what the troops go through during a given week, and the superstars talk about their thoughts of the tour. A rocket was actually shot at one of the bases while the WWE wrestlers were there. Apparently the new Iraqi government is run by TNA fans.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Some of this stuff is actually pretty interesting. You don't get this kind of stuff on network news, I'll tell you that much.
Segment 4
A lieutenant colonel welcomes the WWE superstars and tells them how much the troops have been looking forward to their appearance. Then they get coins to certify them as honorary Steel Tigers.
Santa Claus makes an appearance. Gee, I wonder who's dressed up in the outfit this year. And if the limping walk isn't a dead giveaway, the voice is as he talks about the gifts he has for the troops. He then brings out Torrie Wilson, Dawn Marie, and Miss Jackie for the male horndogs in the military. Oh, and let's bring Lilian in here too. The four divas are passing out presents to the troops, including hugs for a select few. But now Santa wants the divas back in the ring because he has another present for them...black lingerie. Well, pink for Lilian. And half a bottle of Gatorade for Dawn since she's been a naughty girl this year. Cue the obligatory catfight between Jackie and Dawn. Then Torrie unmasks Santa...yep, it's Mick Foley. And Foley tosses the outfit out into the crowd. It has to be hot in that thing in the desert heat.
Spc. Kyle Stadel re-enlists for another five years. That's either very dedicated or very stupid. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say "dedicated".
Up next, The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich.
Troops wish us happy holidays.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Yet another case of simply catering to the troops rather than doing anything significant. And any other week, I'd be horribly upset by now, but since it's a special occasion and the troops enjoyed it, then hell, go with it.
Segment 5
Thanks to Creed for loaning out "One" for tonight's theme song.
A female sergeant...and a single parent...discusses being away from her family at Christmas.
One fall: Heidenreich vs. The Undertaker
No Paul Heyman at ringside. This was set up at Armageddon when Heidenreich attacked Taker and cost him the WWE Title with no explanation as to why he decided to leave the funny farm. Taker unloads with some punches to Heidenreich at the bell. Corner whip, but he runs into an elbow. Heidenreich runs into the boot. Old School. Version of the STO (I think -- hell, Cole called it an "inverted DDT", so at least I'm closer) for 2. Out of the ring, and Heidenreich takes control with some right hands. Back in, and Heidenreich actually gets a near fall. Back outside again, and Taker regains control. Heidenreich is draped over the apron, and there's the guillotine legdrop off the apron. Both men back in, and Taker immediately covers for 2. More right hands by Taker. Turnbuckle smash. Corner whip, Snake Eyes, but Heidenreich catches Taker running in with a sidewalk slam and covers for 2. A hard series of right hands. Boot choke. Flying clothesline for 2. Forearm smashes, and Taker comes back with punches. Heidenreich with a sleeper, but Taker counters with a back suplex. Both men down, but Taker sits up at 8. Heidenreich up, and they exchange punches. Taker slowly regains the advantage. Flying clothesline for 2. Corner whip, clothesline, clothesline, corner whip, Snake Eyes, big boot. Big Leg Drop for 2 as Takermania is running wild! The troops chant "Tombstone" but get a Choke Slam...no, they get a knee from Heidenreich instead. Heidenreich out of the ring, and he gets counted out while trying unsuccessfully to leave through the crowd at 7:35. What the hell? We can't have a real finish in front of the troops? *
We get more stuff about the family, and this particular captain is going to be home on leave for Christmas.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Well, at least this one was better than the previous match at Survivor Series despite the absolutely silly finish. I mean, maybe they were thinking that Heidenreich looks stronger because he didn't get pinned, but in reality he looks weaker because he didn't have the guts to finish the match like a man. Yeah, he's bonkers, we get it. The one match they actually hyped all week, and it ends like that?
Segment 6
Still to come, Eddy Guerrero and Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns. Hell yeah.
The wrestlers give their thoughts on the experience of visiting the troops for the few days and thank the troops personally. Actually a pretty touching segment.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
A little overboard on Lilian Garcia's crying there (touching, yes, but did we need to see that much of it?), but you can tell that these guys feel genuinely honored to be able to do a show like this every year.
Segment 7
Booker T helps some troops wish us a five-time Merry Christmas. Seriously.
We get a look at Camp Speicher, as well a look at some of the stories these troops have. Coins are given to soldiers who show excellence in combat, and these coins were passed out to WWE superstars for taking the same risks the troops do. Those were the coins the superstars got a few segments ago.
One fall: Hardcore Holly vs. Kenzo Suzuki
No Hiroko, although that's not a bad thing. As the match begins, the WWE acknowledges the members of the technical crew who made the trip. Holly takes control and chops the hell out of Suzuki. Suzuki gains control with a Hotshot. Shoulderblock. Reverse chinlock. Holly punches out of it and clotheslines Kenzo down. Flying clothesline for 2. Sick looking Alabama Slam for the pin at 2:39, and Michael Cole sounds like he's in shock. I'm just shocked it was almost a squash. 3/4*
John Bradshaw Layfield is here, and he's next.
More on how hard it is to be overseas when you have family back home.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Again, the evil foreign wrestler isn't going to win in a match being held in front of American troops. But you'd think that since they use Suzuki almost every week and Holly only on occasion that they'd make more of an effort to at least make Kenzo look better than he did. ::shrugs:: But again, it's not like anything except maybe Taker-Heidenreich is going to mean anything after the show goes off the air anyway.
Segment 8
Torrie Wilson helps with a shoutout.
Let's take a look at how they turned the area into a wrestling arena. Some cute footage of one of the troops trying to run the ropes and falling on his face.
And on his way to the ring in a Humvee with longhorns on it is John Bradshaw Layfield. I have to admit it, that is fucking cool. And he plays off of being scared to come here by wearing a biohazard suit to the ring. JBL's not afraid, oh no. The conditions suck, the food "doesn't exactly have an exit strategy, if you know what I mean", and the toilet paper sucks, so he's sore down there. At least set up a bar so a man can get some scotch. OK, last year we got Saddam, but at least start a war where they serve cold beer. JBL appreciates the support and wants a whipsered JBL chant so the enemy can't locate them. He doesn't really get any JBL chants, but he does get a visit from The Big Show. JBL: "We just found a weapon of mass destruction." Show chastises the champion because they're here to pay tribute to the troops, not to JBL. "And honestly, I think you're a deserter. And do you know what we do to deserters over here?" We block their right hands and start waylaying into them. Show knocks the champion out of the ring, then he tries on JBL's hat.
The main event is still to come.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
If I didn't know any better, I'd swear they were trying to develop an angle on the Christmas in Iraq show. OK, the premise for Big Show's attack was kind of silly, but at least they've got something to use to set up the feud. They should at least touch on JBL's security being nowhere to be found next week.
Segment 9
More shoutouts.
Art Meyers, director of Armed Forces Entertainment, discusses how the "volunteer" WWE staff visited about 15 different sets of forces over the three days of the tour. Then we get even more footage of the wrestlers during the tour. I wanna ride a Blackhawk! Let me ride it!
The main event is next.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Is it just me, or are these video packages getting to be repetitive?
Segment 10
Rey Rey and some troops wish us Feliz Navidad.
More from Art Meyers on the WWE's impact on the morale of the troops.
One fall: Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (WWE Tag Team Champion) and Eddy Guerrero
Before their opponents are introduced, Angle takes offense to the troops saying he sucks, but he gets cut off before he gets too far. Eddy and Rey drive to the ring in a tank while Rey uses his camcorder to record this experience for posterity. Angle and Rey start. Chain wrestling sequence to start, and Angle gets a one count while he has Rey locked in a front facelock and an armbar. Rey backflips into an armdrag but is taken down by an Angle armdrag. Angle works the left arm and tags in Reigns. Backbreaker for 1. Tag to Angle, who stomps away. Vertical suplex for 2. Knee to the back and the tag to Reigns. Backbreaker, and Reigns holds it for an attempted submission. Corner whip, but Luther runs into a couple of boots before being taken down with a backspin DDT. Both men are down. Tags on each end, and it's Eddy in firm control. Luther in illegally and eating a dropkick by Eddy. Armdrag/headscissors combo. Eddy into the Three Amigos, but Angle blocks the third one and goes into the Ankle Lock. Eddy counters out of it, and Angle just happens to be in 6-1-9 position. Luther with a blind tag to prevent it, and Angle gets Eddy down with the Angle Slam. Rey with a rana that sends he and Angle over the top rope, and Reigns covers a downed Eddy for 2. A double team dropkick sends Luther into the ropes. 6-1-9 by Rey, and Eddy is off the top with the Frog Splash for the...NO! Angle makes the save at 2. Angle dumped over the top again, and Rey is tagged in to hit the springboard legdrop for the pin at 6:02. Energetic little main event. **1/4
Let's get highlights of the tour to the tune of Creed's "Higher".
END OF SHOW
Actually a pretty solid way to end the show, as all four guys busted their asses to put on one hell of a show for these troops. Just quick, fast-paced action all the way around.
And overall...you know, normally this is the kind of show and become absolutely upset watching. Very little in the way of wrestling with very little in the way of storyline development. But let's be honest here. Even WWE has admitted all week that this show was about entertaining the troops. So this show is going to get a thumbs up from me, simply because it accomplished its goal. No, it was not your normal episode of SmackDown, I'll grant you. But then again, it wasn't supposed to be.
Drop the feedback here, and happy holidays everybody.
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