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TNA
Raw from JHawk's Beak (2/16/2004)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Feb 16, 2004, 22:34
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Raw from JHawk's Beak (2/16/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
Yes, you read that title right. With The Dames absent for the next few weeks, yours truly has to hold the reigns for Raw until The Dames is capable of returning. Since I'll be doing both shows, I'll be keeping the E-Mail of the Week and Forums Quote of the Week confined to the SmackDown recaps.
But I do want to go over the main event of last night's No Way Out event real quickly. This rant is an extended version of a post I made in the Forums late last night. A number of posters seemed to be more concerned with how the show was built up rather than the end result of the match, and while they made some valid points, others seemed to be way off-base.
Most of you read my SmackDown recaps, and you know that I'm one of the most cynical guys in the internet wrestling community. You know that I questioned the use of Eddy's drug addiction even as far back as when it appeared as though that was going to be the main catalyst for the Eddy-Chavo feud. And I've questioned the fact that we only got two weeks to build up for this match.
The bottom line is that this match reached a satisfying conclusion for fans in different generations. When Brian Hebner finished that three count last night, I popped for it. My father popped for it. Approximately 15,000 fans in the Cow Palace popped for it, and who knows how many people watching at home and in sports bars popped for it.
Sure, all they did was tell the fans about Eddy Guerrero's previous drug offenses, and some people are a firm believer in the "show as well as tell" philosophy. But the fans didn't need to be shown Eddy Guerrero's problems. Being told about it was enough to get the fans behind him. They got it. Sometimes simplicity and subtlety are more important than shoving it down our throats by doing too much. As it was, the fans saw that and thought "That's a nice story, I hope he wins." Now, say they interview members of his family about it. OK, it drives the point home. But suppose they also show stock footage of Eddy passed out in a locker room with pill bottles surrounding him. Now the fans could think "OK, we get the point, get off it please."
The bottom line is that unless the Cow Palace was filled with 100% smarks (and no wrestling crowd is filled with 100% smarks, not even a Ring of Honor crowd), this moment was cherished and appreciated by casual fans and smarks alike. As any great moment should be.
Hell, Cole and Tazz didn't talk about Goldberg's run-in at all here. They talked about how it was Eddy's night. They showed three minutes plus of Eddy's celebration, and that PPV went off the air with Eddy Guerrero celebrating down the aisle and the crowd eating it up.
I admit I have concerns about how the title reign is going to end up, but can we just be marks that don't know any better for one fucking night?
If you can't enjoy that because you didn't like the buildup, I feel sorry for you. The one night that I'm actually proud to be a wrestling fan, and some of you actually have me convinced that Vince McMahon might have a point about internet fans not knowing what they're talking about. "But Eddy vs. Angle might be a comedy feud." Well, if it is, and it doesn't make you want to see the match, fine. Bitch about it. "But Eddy might get buried like Jericho did." If Eddy's being buried a week from now, or a month from now, bitch. And if you absolutely have to bitch about last night's match, then ask yourself one question. How the hell could Goldberg be arrested at 8:55pm and not only be released by 10:25, but be back in the building like he was a SmackDown employee? That is what I'd be concerned about before worrying about the buildup or an angle that hasn't even been written yet.
But don't bitch when one of the five best wrestlers in the world becomes The Man after a 30-minute Match of the Year candidate. That's just insane.
Tonight: It's been a number of months since I've done an episode of Raw, and this could be the perfect show to start with, as Chris Benoit meets Shawn Michaels in their first ever singles meeting. But which of the two will meet Triple H at WrestleMania? We should find out tonight.
Segment 1
Last week, Shawn Michaels signed the contract for the WrestleMania title shot despite the fact that there's no way in hell his name is actually on the contract. But never let a little thing like the law get in the way of a good story.
And tonight, live on Raw, Chris Benoit takes on Shawn Michaels!
We are L-I-V-E- LIVE from Bakersfield, California! Good Ol' JR and The King are calling the action, and also tonight, Booker T and Rob Van Dam get their shot at the World Tag Team Champions!
But before we get to all that, here comes Hungry Hungry Hippos with his World Heavyweight Championship! He asked Eric Bischoff who he'll be meeting at WrestleMania, and Bischoff hasn't figured it out yet. Not good enough, says the champ. After all, Benoit is the Royal Rumble winner, and Shawn Michaels signed the contract, so they both have a legal right to the title shot. Um...Shawn doesn't since his name wouldn't have been on the contract and Benoit's would have...but Hunter says we'll probably get another WrestleMania X, where Yokozuna defended the title twice and lost the title. Forget the fact that Bret Hart also wrestled twice that night. Hunter says he's not wrestling twice, and "as the standard bearer of this business" he demands to know who's he's facing. Out comes Eric Bischoff, who says Hunter has every right to be agitated. And he agrees that the champion shouldn't have to defend twice in one night. Bischoff suggests cancelling tonight's main event (and the crowd is PISSED to the point that they won't even let Bischoff finish). Bisch claims he'll replace it with a title match tonight, and Hunter can decide whether Hunter defends against HBK or Benoit. The winner meets the other man at WrestleMania. As long as Hunter picks HBK for tonight, I'll take it. So will the crowd, and Hunter asks the crowd if that's cool or not. It's cool with them...but Hunter doesn't care what the people think. "I do what I wanna do when I wanna do it." Damn, the last time they pissed a crowd off this badly was when...hell, I can't remember the last time they pissed a crowd off this badly. Out comes Chris BenOIT to the ring, and he rips the mic out of Triple H's hands. Oh hell yeah! Benoit's listened to Hunter, and now it's his turn to talk...with his fists. Hunter fights back (to boos), and now we've got a back and forth brawl going. Benoit locks in the Crippler Crossface, and out comes Evolution to force Benoit to release the hold and leave the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Excellent opening segment. Benoit finally gets to look like he's got a chance in hell against Triple H. Bischoff shows that he really wants to try to do something to give everybody what they want. And Triple H more or less admits in a promo that if it doesn't favor him, he doesn't want it happening. And to top it off, the crowd essentially shows that they're getting fed up with bait-and-switches and the political garbage, as the second Bischoff suggested cancelling Benoit vs. Michaels, I thought we were going to have a riot. The booing was that loud.
Segment 2
Backstage, Evolution threatens to go after Benoit, but Triple H says not to worry about it, since they have all night to find Benoit. Randy Orton tells him it's all under control.
One fall for the World Tag Team Championship: Booker T and Rob.......Van.......Dam vs. The Man WHOO! and Batista (champions--w/Randy Orton)
This match comes as a result of last week's Raw, where Batista and Flair attacked RVD and Booker following their triple threat match with Orton. Booker and Flair start. Booker with a side headlock. Into the ropes, clean break. Flair with a headlock. Shoulderblock, off the ropes, Booker with a leapfrog and a bodyslam. Tag to RVD. Forearm smash. A series of kicks and forearms. Corner whip, Flair with an elbow. Tag to Batista, who clubs at RVD with forearms. Irish whip, RVD with a spinning heel kick. Corner shoulderblocks and a flying somersault into Batista for 2. Orton to the apron for the distraction, and RVD avoids a charging Batista, who falls to the floor. RVD misses a pescadoe, and we cut to a...
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Really flat so far. Hopefully we're merely doing a slow build to a hot finish.
Segment 3
Back live as Batista has RVD in a reverse chinlock. RVD out of it with elbows, but he runs into a powerslam for 2. Flair tagged in. RVD counters a hiptoss into a backslide for 2. Boot to the face RVD-style. RVD blocks a kick to the midsection and gets the spinning heel kick. Hot tag to Booker T, and he cleans house on both champions. Back suplex for Batista. Leg lariat to Flair for 2 as Batista breaks the pin. RVD and Batista fight on the floor. Booker knocks Orton off the apron and gets a leg lariat on Flair. SPINNAROONIE TONY! Orton trips Booker as he goes for the Scissor Kick and rams his knee along the apron. Batista with a spinebuster, and Flair covers for a very near fall. Figure-Four Leglock, and out comes Mick Foley to lock the Mandible Claw on Orton. They brawl into the crowd (with Batista following). RVD off the top with the Five Star Frog Splash to Flair, and Booker covers him for the pin and the titles at 9:39. Nice pop for the crowd, but as JR said, "It damn sure wasn't pretty." *1/2
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I expected the match to go a bit longer than that considering they took the commercial break, but I'd be lying if I said I expected more than that. This helps to build toward the Orton-Foley match at WrestleMania, it gets the titles to Booker and RVD for a much needed breath of fresh air in the tag team division, and it sets up what looks to be the running story of the evening--Evolution is having a bad night.
Segment 4
It's President's Day in the United States, so we show a clip from Franklin Delano's Roosevelt's inauguration.
Moments ago, we crowned new World Tag Team Champions, and speaking of new champions, congratulations to Eddy Guerrero for winning the WWE Title. Let's show you exactly what Goldberg did to Brock Lesnar last night. They conveniently edited Lesnar's brief offense. A nice touch, actually.
Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff are watching the clip, and Austin wants to know what the main event of WrestleMania is going to be. Bischoff wants some time, and Austin gives Bischoff about...oh, a hour and 20 minutes or so. And if he hasn't figured it out by then, he's breaking the law and will get beaten up. Bischoff leaves the office, and Orton is angry about Foley's interference. He tells Bischoff he's going to the ring for a fight whether Bischoff likes it or not. Bischoff refuses to sanction it but says it's OK.
Christian asks Y2J+4 why he's going to wrestle Kane with a bad knee. Bischoff's forcing it on him. Anyway, Jericho says he's going to ask Trish Stratus to be more than just friends. He wants to give her a single rose as a belated Valentine's Day present, and Christian tries to talk him out of it because she might be interested in someone else...but he hasn't heard anything for sure about that. He tells Jericho to focus on Kane, and Jericho says he's focused...and hands the rose to Christian for safe keeping.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Wow, Austin's threatening to beat up somebody. You don't see that every week. But the good thing about this segment is that it shows exactly how full Bischoff's hands are as he tries to juggle everything in one shot and attempt to give everybody on the roster what they want.
If you don't know exactly where this Jericho-Christian-Trish thing is going, then you never watched NBC's Saturday morning teen lineup in the glory days of Saved by the Bell. Christian's going to give Trish the rose claiming it was his idea, and the MegaCanadians Explode! Well, Jericho and Christian might drag that part of it out another week or two.
Segment 5
One fall: Y2J+4 vs. Kane
Two weeks ago, Kane was "wrestling" Trish Stratus, and Chris Jericho made the save, setting up this match. Jericho quickly goes for the legs, but he gets caught running in with a Kane clothesline. Jericho again goes for the legs, then for the Walls of Jericho, but Kane avoids it and levels Jericho with a right hand. Now it's Kane going after Jericho's knee. Kane wraps Jericho's knee around the ringpost. Jericho tries to come back with chops. The edge doesn't last, and Kane takes Jericho down with a kneebreaker. Jericho gamely fights back, but he can't put any weight on the leg, so referee Jack Doan calls for the bell. Kane wins because Jericho can't continue after 2:56. 3/4* Kane tosses Jericho over the top rope, then rams Jericho's knee into the ringpost. Kane grabs the mic and says Jericho should take that a lesson, and so should whoever is behind the supernatural mind games. Because it's not The Undertaker. He was buried alive. "The Undertaker is DEAD! DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Does he think The Undertaker's dead? Well, whether he does or not, there goes the purple lighting and the Titantron. "In 27 days, the Dead will rise again." And it rains on Kane. Then the gong, and the crowd is going nuts!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Boring match, but with great psychology, as Jericho sells the injured leg like death until the match is stopped. Subtlety. I like it. As far as the postmatch bit goes, I like old school Undertaker, but I have no interest in seeing this match. But the crowds have been popping for the "paranormal activities", so apparently they're doing something right.
Segment 6
Clips of Ronald Reagan in West Berlin.
Randy Orton is on his way to the ring, and we're told Chris Jericho is on his way to the hospital. Foley challenged him to a fight at WrestleMania, but that wouldn't be fair. Cue the "Foley" chant as Orton puts over his status as champion as well as his young age. And look at Mick. Fat, disgusting, a glory hound, and blinded to the fact that his prime is over. But if he wants a fight, let's do it right now. "In 2000, you might have been the Hardcore Legend, but tonight, you're just Randy Orton's bitch!" That will bring Foley out here.
Unsanctioned Fight: Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley
No referee, just an all-out brawl to start, and one that Foley gets the advantage in early. Big bulldog. Boots to the head. Double-arm DDT, and a "bang bang" for the crowd. Out comes Ric Flair, out comes Batista, and that buys Orton enough time to get in a low blow. And that brings Batista and Flair in for the 3-on-1 beatdown. Orton stomps away and taunts as the crowd chants "Foley". Batista and Flair hold Foley for Orton, who gets a series of punches in. He calls for the RKO as he favors his hand, and there it is. There are plenty of boos as Evolution celebrates. Foley tries to get up, but Orton kicks him in the face. Earl Hebner comes out to try to stop it, but the beatdown continues. Batista rubs his boot on Foley's good ear as Orton shouts "Can you hear me?" Somebody needs to make a save so this segment ends. Can anyone in the back hear me? Triple power bomb by Evolution. Orton then taunts Foley, yelling "Stay down! Do you hear me? Stay down!"
COMMERCIAL BREAK
That might have been one of the most boring beatdowns I've ever seen. I liked the basic idea behind it: Orton doesn't feel he can beat Foley on his own, so Evolution continually bails him out when he's in trouble, and as always, Foley's the stubborn bastard that won't stay down. That's fine. But this went so long and we got what? A bunch of kicks and stomps (and not even at a pace that keeps you interested), and maybe two moves that might have actually hurt him. The perfect time to end this would have been with the RKO, but it almost seemed like Foley tried to get up just to extend the segment another 3-5 minutes.
Segment 7
WrestleMania XX is in 27 days.
Now let's replay part of the beatdown as if anybody's still paying attention to it. Foley did a stretcher job during the break.
We do still have HBK vs. Benoit later tonight. Thank God.
And speaking of the Holy Bible Kid, he's taping his hands up as Chris Benoit walks in. He tells HBK that he'll show the same respect to him that he received from HBK. "I want you to remember that."
My Future Wife and Miss Jackie bitch to Bischoff about not being in Playboy, and Bischoff suggests they call Hugh Hefner. In comes Austin to see if Bischoff has made a decision yet, which turns into an infomercial for the Monday Night War DVD. Bischoff once challenged Vince McMahon to a fight (and he claimed a forfeit victory), and Bischoff thinks he could have beaten him. Of course, Mr. McAsshole is standing behind him, and Vince can't believe what he just heard. Remember when he said Goldberg's interference would mean it was Bischoff's ass? Well, next week Vince will make a major announcement...in his wrestling gear...and then Bischoff can try to kick Vince's ass. Vince vs. Bischoff on Raw. That's a far cry from Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit, huh?
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Short but sweet promo for Benoit, and a semiclean win tonight could push him way over the top here. As far as the Bischoff stuff goes, I'm honestly surprised that they didn't try to save Bischoff-McMahon for WrestleMania, but I'd much rather have the overbooked mess air for free.
Segment 8
JFK inauguration clips.
Live in Bakersfield, California, and a huge main event on the way shortly.
Tag Team Contest scheduled for one fall: Trish Stratus and Victoria (w/Big Stevie Cool) vs. Good Golly Miss Molly Holly (WWE Women's Champion) and Jazz (w/Theodore R. Long)
Next week, we're in Omaha for Raw! Trish and Jazz start. Jazz simply tosses Trish to the mat early and begins to pound away at Trish. Trish side steps an avalanche and gets a roll up for 2. Whip, reversal, flying clothesline. Jazz regains control and tags Molly. Snap suplex. A series of faceslam. Snap mare followed by the rolling neck snap. Trish gets a headscissors takeover and tags Victoria. Molly with an arm wringer takedown for 2. Cartwheels by Victoria to counter the arm wringer. Full nelson into a snap mare. Hiptoss. Jazz with a cheap knee to the back from the apron. Victoria knocks her off the apron and Molly attacks from behind. Suplex, but Victoria counters into the Widow's Peak to pin the Women's Champion at 3:33. * And here comes Test to attack Richards and Victoria. Trish of all people tries to make the save, which doesn't work. Test sets up the power bomb, but Christian runs out for the save. Test doesn't know what Christian's doing, and neither does Trish.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
An OK match, which should set up Victoria finally getting her shot at the Women's Title (since she's been the top contender for about three years at this point), helps build the Trish-Christian-Jericho storyline, and even helps to further the Test-Richards storyline that has been mostly Heat-exclusive over the past two months. Simple storytelling there, as three feuds get built up in one five minute stretch, and they all actually make sense.
Segment 9
WrestleMania Recall: The Gimmick Battle Royal (WrestleMania X-Seven).
Trish runs after Christian, thanking him for the save. She's off to check on Jericho, and Christian offers to drive her to the hospital...and he hands her Jericho's rose, without ever mentioning Jericho's name.
Recap of the contract signing...didn't I already see this tonight?
Main Event scheduled for one fall: The Holy Bible Kid vs.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
No surprises in the segment, and probably about 15-20 minutes for this one bell to bell, assuming three minutes for Bischoff to announce a number one contender. Let's get it on!
Segment 10
Main Event scheduled for one fall: The Holy Bible Kid vs. Chris BenOIT
Staredown before the bell, and Shawn is already tapping his foot on the mat. A slap and double-leg takedown by Benoit, and we're underway. A series of shoulderblocks. Snap suplex. A series of stomps. Chop. Corner whip, and Michaels flips upside down. Benoit goes for the Crippler Crossface, but Michaels avoids it. Michaels gains the advantage. Chop. Benoit retaliates, and they exchange chops. HBK with a swinging neckbreaker. Corner whip and a clothesline to the back of the head. Benoit favors his neck and Michaels drops an elbow on it. And again. More chops. Benoit comes back with forearms. Corner whip, but Benoit runs into the boot. Whip, reversal, flying forearm, nip-up by HBK (to boos). Bodyslam. Up top, but HBK misses the flying elbowdrop. Benoit goes for the German suplex, but HBK blocks it. Another block, and they both struggle to get a move off until Benoit backdrops HBK over the top rope to the floor.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So far so good, as Michaels focuses on Benoit's surgically-repaired neck. And that's how a solid wrestling match should work: Pick out a weakness and exploit it to wear your opponent down.
Segment 11
Benoit has Michaels locked in a chinlock. Michaels fights back as we're told Benoit rammed Michaels' back into the railing several times during the break. Whip, knee to the midsection by Benoit for 2. Snap suplex for 2. Back suplex for 2. Backbreaker for 2. Kicks and chops by both men. Benoit with an abdominal stretch. So now it's Michaels' surgically-repaired back being worked on. Shawn loosens Benoit's grip and counters into a hiptoss. Michaels misses an elbowdrop. Whip, reversal, sleeper by HBK. Benoit eventually breaks it with a back suplex. Another exchange of chops. Benoit gets the advantage, then locks in his own sleeper, but Michaels quickly breaks it with a jawbreaker. Delayed cover by Shawn for 2, and JR actually explains how Benoit could kick out of it. Wow. Another exchange of blows, and then they collide in mid-ring, and both men are down. Both men back up. Michaels with an inverted atomic drop. Backslide by Benoit for 2. Small package for 2. Back suplex, but Michaels counters into a cover for 2. Benoit knocks HBK down for another 2 count. Both men on the top turnbuckle. Benoit goes for a superplex, but Michaels knocks him off the turnbuckle and hits the flying elbowdrop. Michaels doesn't cover and instead signals for the Sweet Chin Music. He misses, and Benoit counters into the Crippler Crossface...but he doesn't quite lock it in. Benoit works it into a sharpshooter. Tap out, bitch! Sorry, got excited there! HBK goes for the ropes, but Benoit pulls him into the center of the ring. Michaels reaches the ropes on a second effort, and the boos drown out the cheers. Benoit blocks another superkick and goes into the rolling German suplexes. Benoit signals for the Swan Dive Headbutt, but Triple H makes his way to the ring. It distracts Benoit, which allows Michaels to hit the Sweet Chin Music for the pin at 21:10. Great match, although the finish takes away from it a bit. **** Postmatch, Triple H acts like he's going to check on Shawn, but takes HBK down with a Pedigree instead. Out come Austin on the dune buggy. Eric Bischoff has made a decision, but he didn't want to come out here and piss anyone off. WrestleMania's official main event will be a triple threat match. Decent but unspectacular pop for that one, and I'm in portion of the crowd that groaned.
END OF SHOW
Hey, even with the finish not being what I would have wanted, I can't bitch too much about that one. Benoit's weakness is the neck, Michaels worked on it. Michaels' weakness is the back, Benoit worked on it. My only gripe is Triple H's distraction causing the finish of the match, and since he didn't actually interfere, it looks like HBK got a clean win in the middle of the ring. It doesn't make Benoit look bad, but it doesn't give him that one added boost that he might have needed to get seen as a credible main eventer by the non-believers. I don't buy the credibility argument myself, but this doesn't help those that do. The triple threat decision sucks, and I don't know any casual fans that even wanted to see it, but three weeks of bitching about it obviously didn't change Vince McMahon's mind.
Overall, the show started great, it finished off great, but the middle part was pretty damn bland. Any other week, that main event is probably match of the week, and we got some solid angle development in here. A title change, four or five different feuds given time to properly build, and a great main event are the ingredients of a thumbs up show, but they really need to learn to change things up a bit when they can tell the crowd is bored, as they could have damn near added a match by cutting off the Orton-Foley segment when the crowd lost interest.
Send me somefeedback or check out the archives.
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