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TNA
SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (8/26/2004)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Aug 27, 2004, 21:41
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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (8/26/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
Why is this late? I've worked way too much this week and just want to get this over with.
Tonight: It's technically (but not officially) the 5th anniversary of SmackDown! Booker T needs a win against John Cena to even the best of 5 series. Plus, Heidenreich makes his SmackDown debut, and he promises us he won't suck this time. Really. Honest!
Segment 1
Last week, Kurt Angle ruined Eddy Guerrero's low rider.
Taped 8/24/2004 from the Savemart Arena in Fresno, California. John Cena leads Booker T 1-0 in the best of 5 series for the U.S. Title with match #2 coming tonight. But first...
It's Eddy Guerrero...and he's WALKING to the ring. This is new. Last week, Angle ruined Eddy's car with ordinary house paint. "You defaced my property just like I'm going to deface you tonight." He wants a fight. He calls for Angle's ass (and I assume the rest of Angle too), and "Medal" plays, but Luther Reigns comes out instead. And he speaks! Luther's seen a lot of fights in his lifetime, and if Angle got into a fight with Eddy, Eddy would get annihilated. My Olympic Hero comes on the Ovaltron and wants the fight in the parking lot. Eddy comes running, and of course, Angle runs away from him. They run around a Lincoln Town Car, which is apparently Angle's, so Eddy begins to destroy it. Luther attacks from behind and repeatedly tosses Eddy into the car...then they get into a van and drive off. Eddy goes back to destorying the car, but out comes Theodore R. Long to say it's not Angle's car...it's Long's. Uh oh. Long calls for security to remove him from the building. Then Long does a hilarious overacting job to grieve for the car.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Silly. Absolutely silly. I mean, how are you supposed to incorporate this into the blowoff match? The loser gets covered with paint and beaten with a crowbar? Or is that how you win the match? You see what I mean about this being absolutely silly? I fail to see, after all these years, why they insist on destroying expensive automobiles to build to these matches when the car can't realistically be incorporated into the actual match.
Segment 2
One fall: Rob....Van....Dam vs. Suzuki Kenzo (w/Hiroko)
Last week, Suzuki attacked RVD after his match, so we get this match. Earlier tonight, Kenzo cut a promo (in English) where he said this match is due to RVD driving a Japanese car. They're running out of ideas. RVD with a thrust kick to knock Kenzo out of his sedan, and then a moonsault before kicking the entire entourage. Into the ring, and Kenzo quickly takes control. Chops. Turnbuckle smash. Elbowsmash. RVD comes back but runs into a knee to the midsection. Abdominal stretch. RVD tries to hiptoss out of it, but it's blocked. RVD blocks the turnbuckle smash and kicks Kenzo in the face. RVD builds momentum and gets in the springboard side kick. Flying side kick for 2. Corner shoulderblocks. Bodyslam. Split-legged moonsault for 2. Stepover spin kick. All the way to the top, but Rene Dupree runs to ringside, so RVD does a plancha onto Dupree. RVD back in, and Kenzo goes for his clawhold legsweep, but RVD rolls him into a small package for the pin at 3:26. 1/2* Dupree is immediately in to help Kenzo double team RVD, and they finish him off with a double brainbuster. Dupree bows to Kenzo.
Outside, Long continues his smashing acting job, crying over his car. John Bradshaw Layfield and Orlando Jordan come in and ask what Long plans on doing about The Undertaker. Long decides they'll finish it tonight when the WWE Title is on the line. JBL can't defend because he isn't medically cleared, so Long tells them Jordan will defend in his place. Oh, and Taker WILL be the opponent. Well, I'd hope so, because how else would the issue be settled tonight?
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I hate the "substitute champion" angle. Either we get some sort of screwjob to keep the title where it is, or we crown a new champion without the current champion in the match. Either way, all it does is cheapen the title without actually benefitting anybody.
As far as the match goes, it wasn't pretty. All we accomplished was establishing that Dupree and Suzuki, having only their status as foreigners in common, being thrown together into an apparent tag team, as they have some sort of alliance. Could we find nothing else for these three guys to do?
Segment 3
Michael Cole and Tazz discuss the title match for tonight.
One fall: Chavito Guerrero (w/Jamie Noble) vs. Billy Kidman (WWE Tag Team Champion--w/Paul London)
Last week, Noble and Chavo beat Kidman and London, setting up this match. Counter wrestling sequence to start, but Chavo turns it into a brawl as soon as he gets the opportunity. Slingshot headscissors by Kidman. Noble gets involved, and Chavo rams Kidman's shoulder into the ringpost. That makes the left shoulder the focal point of Chavo's attack. Keylock. Kidman armdrags out of it and tries to fight back. BAAAAAAAAAACK bodydrop. Chavo blocks a suplex with an arm wringer and gets a single-arm DDT for 2. Kidman avoids a back suplex, Chavo avoids a spinebuster bomb and kicks the shoulder, but Kidman takes him down with a standing dropkick. Noble interferes, and London goes after Noble, then takes Chavo down with a kick to the side of the head. Shooting star press by Kidman, and that's the pin at 4:24. Too short, but good for what it was. *1/2
The WWE Title is on the line tonight.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I can't complain with the basic story of the match, as Chavo focused on an injured body part to take away a majority of Kidman's offense. I wish they'd give this type of match more time to develop though, because as soon as the crowd begins to get behind the combatants, the match is over and we're hyping mediocre contests for inflated contracts. Fifteen minutes for any combination of these four men could be outstanding.
Segment 4
Vignette for Carly Colon as "Carlito Caribbean Cool", who will spit in your face if you're not cool. I hereby dub thee "Razor Ramon III".
They're towing Teddy's car, and back to the building come Angle and Luther. They admit to setting the whole thing up. Don't admit to it! Bah, too late! Long informs Angle that it was his car that got destroyed and not just some random employee's car, and in order to pay for it, he must wrestle Eddy in a best of three falls match next week. And since Angle obviously wants some action, he can have Rey Misterio Jr. tonight. But Luther ain't following, because he has to sweep up the parking lot.
The score is John Cena 1, Booker T 0.
Match # 2 in the Best of Five Series for the WWE United States Championship: John Cena (1-0) vs.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Oh hell yeah! Angle-Eddy? Two out of three falls? I am fucking there! Well, Peter is there, actually, but hell, he earned it after sitting through that abortion called Monday Night Raw this week. The best part of this, however, is that Teddy Long remains a neutral GM, which is a breath of fresh air after six years of evil GMs, commissioners, and owners.
Segment 5
vs. Booker T (champion--0-1)
Quick roll up for a 1 count by Cena. Knees and chops by Booker. Elbowsmash for 2. Forearms and punches by Cena, but Booker stops him with with a knee. Forearm smash for 2. Snap suplex for 2 as a "Cena" chant begins. Cena reverses a whip and gets a hiptoss for 2. Corner shoulderblocks. Elbowsmash for 2. Armbar. Booker breaks with an eye rake. Superkick for 2. Reverse chinlock. Cena with elbows and a headbutt to break. Shoulderblock for 1. Shoulderblock for 2. Booker avoids a third shoulderblock with a knee to the back. Booker should take a countout, but he decides to do his damage to Cena on the floor. Cena back in, and Booker hits the missile dropkick for 2. Stomps by Booker. Spinning leg lariat for 2. Chinlock. Cena punches out of it but runs into a leg lariat. Delayed cover for 2. Reverse chinlock. Booker takes him down with it and covers for 2. Into a double wristlock with a knee to the back. Cena out of it, but he runs into a sidewalk slam for 2. Chinlock with the knee to the back. Cena fighting back again, this time with results. Clothesline. Elbow. Flying shoulderblock for 2. Faceslam (I think it was supposed to be the Throwback). "You can't see me", Five Knuckle Shuffle for 2. Pump up the shoes, but the F-U is countered, and a knee to the forehead. Booker dumps Cena onto the top turnbuckle, then gets a sloppy looking backslide and uses the ropes for leverage for the pin at 9:41 to even the series. **1/4
Orlando Jordan defends JBL's title tonight.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
A much better effort than their SummerSlam matchup. My lone complaint is how many times Booker slowed the pace down with chinlocks, as I was getting into the story of Booker T's desperation leading to a lot of near falls. Maybe some explanation by Cole and Tazz as to why Booker might slow the pace down could have improved things. A nice touch: Booker's counter of the F-U after losing to it in match #1.
Segment 6
Moments ago, Booker T tied the series.
Your hosts tell us that Match #3 takes place in Sydney, Australia this weekend, and we'll have footage next week.
Josh Mathews welcomes Paul E. Heyman, who tells us why he stands here filled with bravado after he was on his knees in fear a few weeks ago. The answer: He has a "guard dog" who will be loyal to him. Experience Heidenreich up close. It seems like ages ago when Heyman was being chased by The Undertaker, but with Heidenreich next to him, nobody will ever pursue them again. Remember the name of ::deep breath:: Heidenreich. Mathews asks if Heidenreich can live up to the hype, and Heidenreich asks flat out if he looks like hype...and then beats up Mathews. So kids, join the $1,000,000 Tough Enough, and you'll get to take shoulderbreakers and slingshot backbreakers from guys like this. He locks in a cobra clutch as a portion of the crowd chants "hype".
Angle vs. Rey is next.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Oh, I am soooooo impressed that Heidenreich can beat up little Josh Mathews. How many people actually remember that Mathews is a trained professional? Well, at least he was on Tough Enough. Close enough. But to the average fan, he looks like a big bully who beats up on people who are incapable of fighting back. Josh Mathews is hardly on the same level as The Undertaker, and until people believe Heidenreich has a shot of beating Taker, nobody's going to care.
Segment 7
The Big Show is coming!
One fall: My Olympic Hero vs. Rey Misterio Jr.
Rey tosses his shirt to Jorge Paez. Wow. Angle busts out the technical wrestling from the get-go, and you don't want to trade holds with Angle, sayeth Tazz. Shoulderblock. Side headlock, and Rey's shoulders occasionally hit the mat for near falls. Another shoulderblock. Leapfrog and an armdrag by Mysterio. Angle goes right back to the amateur takedowns and manages to maneuver into a near fall. Front facelock. Rey backdrops out of it. Drop toehold into a side headlock. Shoulderblock and back to the headlock. Rey Misterio Jr. is using holds? Interesting. Hard back suplex by Angle. European uppercut. Corner whip, but an ankle scissors by Rey takes Angle to the floor. Baseball slide.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So far so good. Some terrific technical wrestling thus far, and I like how Angle is wisely attempting to keep Rey grounded, while Rey actually keeps in the match by playing Angle's own game, doing just enough high flying to keep Angle off-guard.
Segment 8
Angle with a chinlock. Reverse chinlock. During the break, Angle with a huge release German suplex to regain control. Back live, and a series of near falls forces Rey to expend a lot of energy. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Bearhug. Rey tries to battle back, but another release German earns Angle a count of 2. Angle sets up behind Rey, but Rey counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag. Drop toehold into the turnbuckle, and a spilt-legged moonsault for 2. Rey counters a fireman's carry into a dropkick for 2. Satellite headscissors. Drop toehold into the middle rope. Angle ducks the 6-1-9. Rey counters the wheelbarrow suplex into a couple of dropkicks into the middle rope, and this time he hits the 6-1-9. Going for the West Coast Pop, but Angle counters it into a power bomb. Down go the straps Memphis-style, but Rey counters the Angle Slam into a reverse DDT for 2. Rey to the second rope, and Angle goes for a German superplex, but Rey elbows him to the mat and leaps...and Angle counters a Victory roll into a sitdown pin in 13:40. Clearly the match of the night, and clearly the WWE TV Match of the Week. ****
And next, the WWE Title is on the line!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
An absolutely incredible match here, as not only did they keep telling the story of Angle trying to keep Rey grounded as much as possible, but they've also played off of how much they've met in the past, as only Rey hit any sort of true signature spot, with pretty much every attempt at one being countered. And the finish was off of one of those counters as opposed to a finisher, a WWE rarity these days. Hell, Angle never even attempted the ankle lock, which was smart as he never tried to work on the angle. Absolutely terrific all around.
Segment 9
November 11, 1999: Mr. McMahon makes the California governor an honorary WWE Champion. He wasn't governor at the time, of course, but he still got a backhand in on Triple H.
And not-so-coincidentally, we're taped in Fresno as our hosts discuss Raw. And now our hosts discuss the decisions Teddy Long has made after having his car destroyed. And sure, they're controversial, but he's made good decisions like the $1,000,000 Tough Enough.
JBL walks into the locker room to talk to Orlando Jordan. Jordan knows he's good, but this is The Undertaker. He promises he'll try not to lose the title, but there's so much pressure. Too much, says JBL, but you're a fresh face in the main event. OK, you're the underdog. Like Braveheart. Well, bad example, but you gotsta believe. And Jordan wants to wear the belt. After all, it was JBL who said Jordan's got what it takes to be the champion, so Jordan wants to feel like it on his way to the ring. Bradshaw agrees, but says it as best as he can when Jordan leaves: "I'm screwed."
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Honestly, I can't pinpoint what it is I liked about this segment, but I was feeling it. Basically, it shows that even Jordan knows the odds are against him, and JBL tries to convince him otherwise, even if it means lying to the sacrificial lamb. Well, it sounds harsh, but it's honest, right?
Segment 10
Next week, Eddy Guerrero. Kurt Angle. Two out of three falls.
One fall for the WWE Championship: Orlando Jordan (defending the title for John Bradshaw Layfield, who accompanies the challenger to ringside) vs. The Undertaker
Two weeks ago, Undertaker scored a disqualification victory over Jordan when Bradshaw hit the Clothesline from Hell. Then at SummerSlam, JBL won by disqualification but was choke slammed through a gimmicked limo, causing the injuries and leading to this "rematch". Taker with a knee and a turnbuckle smash. Elbow. Right hands. Corner whip, and Taker runs into an elbow. Hiptoss. Armdrag takedowns. Taker with a knee to regain control, and a hard big boot for 2. Arm wringer into Old School. Lariat for 2, as JBL grabs the leg to break the pin. Jordan attacking from behind and stomps away at Taker. Out to the floor, and Jordan uses the barricade to his advantage. Back in, and what a hard kick to the ribs. Elbowdrop for 2. Bodyslam. Legdrop for 2. He walks into a barrage of right hands and knees, but gets a knee and an elbow of his own in. Elbowsmashes. Taker reverses a corner whip and takes Jordan down with Snake Eyes and a big boot. Taker decides to go for JBL instead of Jordan, and Jordan attacks the dead man on the floor. Back into the ring, and Jordan immediately covers for 2. Right hands, but he runs into Taker's elbow. Jordan avoids the Tombstone and hits a reverse Russian legsweep for a near fall. Taker sits up, but Jordan immediately goes for punches. Avalanche. Turnbuckle smash. JBL to the apron as Taker gets in an avalanche, and Taker knocks him off the apron. A choke slam for the surrogate champion, and Taker goes for the Tombstone...and he hits it! 1, 2...and JBL pulls Brian Hebner out of the ring. That's rightly called a disqualification at 6:26, but the title can only change hands by pinfall or submission, so no title change. * An angry Taker rips off the neckbrace and rams the champion into the broadcast table. Off comes the halo and backbrace, and JBL begs off into the ring...and that doesn't prevent Taker from choke slamming the champion anyway.
END OF SHOW
Now honestly, I can't see how Taker is supposed to be the good guy in this situation. That's twice now that he's thrown a hissyfit that he hasn't won the title, and this time he's channeling Shane Douglas by beating on a man wearing a halo. OK, at least this time he got the benefit of the DQ victory so it's somewhat justified, but how many times is he going to be unable to win the title before we move on to the next challenger? Anyway, a better match than their first effort since at least this time they used a wrestling move or two to vary away from the punch-kick-elbow style we've seen for the entire feud.
Overall, you actually had a pretty decent show from an in-ring standpoint. Decent stuff with the Chavo-Kidman and the Booker-Cena matches, plus one hell of an effort out of Rey and Angle. From a storyline standpoint, there is literally nothing of note, and there lies the difference between the two shows right now: Raw has characters that you care about, but SmackDown has...um...um...a good week on occasion. This was one of those occasions.
Agree? Disagree? Wanna flood me with gifts? Drop me some feedback, yo, but if you're on AOL, you might want to try a new account as Hotmail has been sending AOL responses into my junk mail folder.
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