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" The Gravel Pit "
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Wrestling
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TNA
The Royal Treatment: RAW (8.30.04)
Posted by Peter Kostka on Aug 31, 2004, 00:35
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Live from San Francisco, California
Instead of the opening pyro, Evolution make their way to the ring. HHH wants to make some things clear; Evolution exists because HE made it so. Ric Flair forgot what it meant to be the Nature Boy and Batista had no direction before HHH got to them. Randy Orton was HHH�s pet project, someone he could mold who would take HHH�s spot when it�s all over. And how does Randy repay him? By spitting in his face last week, something that no one had ever done before and will never do again. HHH created Orton, and he can break him just the same. He calls Orton out, telling him to be a man and face the consequences since he chose this path. Orton comes out to new music (not very good music, which sounds like it�s from the same vocalist as Maven�s theme), with three easels covered in black cloth. Just call him �Champ� from now on. He thanks HHH for giving him the opportunity, but Evolution wasn�t about Flair, Batista, or himself (he reveals a picture of Evolution walking down the aisle, HHH in front); it was all about protecting HHH. �And once they (Flair and Batista) understand that, they will detach their lips from his ass.� He reveals the second picture, showing Orton pinning Chris Benoit at SummerSlam, pointing out that he won the title all by himself; something HHH wasn�t able to do. Sure, he learned a lot from HHH, but the biggest lesson was �never let them know what you are thinking.� He made HHH think that he was going to just hand the title over last week, but, as the final photo shows, he spit in his face instead. He wants to go right now, but he notices that HHH has some friends with him, so he brought a friend of his: a sledgehammer. He charges into the ring and runs Batista and Flair off. HHH tries to sneak up from behind, but Orton wheels around and HHH falls down, begging off before taking off into the crowd as Orton holds the sledge in the air.
Thoughts: Very good promo from HHH, as the egotistical and bitter side of his character took center stage here (and opens the door for the �I love shoot comments blahblah� stuff). Orton did a very good job getting the fans behind him here, and again threw it right back in HHH�s face with the �I beat Benoit and you didn�t� comment, the focal point behind this whole thing.
Coming up tonight: William Regal vs. Batista, Chris Benoit meets Ric Flair, and HHH meets Eugene in a no-DQ match.
- Eric Bischoff confronts Orton in the back. He�s not going to put up with Orton�s antics tonight, and orders him out of the building. But before he goes, Bischoff wants the sledgehammer, so Orton gives it to him�..by dropping it on Eric�s foot.
Rhyno and Tajiri vs. La Resistance and Da Coach (Handicap match)
This was set up after last week�s opening segment with The Rock. The heels jump Rhyno and Tajiri during their entrance and Robert Conway goes to town on Rhyno. Rhyno tries to fight back, but Sylvan Grenier stops the rally, and any possible flow this match had, with incessant chinlocks. They let Coach get a shot in and go for a double backdrop, but Rhyno rallies and clotheslines them to death, including one for Coach. Tajiri ends up knocked to the floor and Rhyno hits the Gore on Coach, but La Res hit the Au Revoir on him for the pin.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Ye gods, that was bad. Why they decided to throw a two minute chinlock in there, and let Grenier spend most of the time in the ring while Tajiri gets NONE escapes me. I hope and pray that the PPV match is oodles better than this was.
Tonight: Edge is on the Highlight Reel.
That was a pretty good commercial for the new Gamecube WWE game, by the way.
- Recap of the Wedding from Hell last week, a segment which was either the worst thing in history or the funniest, depending on who you ask Aapparently Kane has a surprise gift for Lita.
- William Regal walks backstage and is joined by Eugene, who is wearing a Barry Bonds shirt (who, along with the Giants, get booed), still excited about their trip to the Giants game. Regal tries to get him focused on his match with HHH, but Eugene keeps interrupting him by yelling �OUT!�, �SAFE!� and �STEEEERIKE!� when Regal says the words while talking about HHH and Eric Bischoff, so Regal has to raise his voice.
Batista vs. William Regal
They go back and forth for a bit, and Batista gets a full nelson, but Regal breaks it and works him over in the corner, hitting a t-bone suplex for 2. Baitsta nails a spinebuster and goes out for a chair, but that is just to distract the ref so Ric Flair can run down and hit Regal in the ribs with brass knucks, leading to a Batista clothesline for the pin.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Nothing to see here, folks. Occurred only to further a Regal/Flair angle, I guess. Really not much more I can say.
- Ivory, Linda McMahon and Shawn Michaels are at the Republican National Convention. Get out and vote, 18-30 year olds!
- Stacy Keibler is out, apparently the new host of the Diva Search. Well, at least if they want to keep going with this, might as well bring out a host that is nice to look at. Maria is gone, and the crowd ain�t happy with that. This week, it�s �Diss the Diva�, where each contestant can insult her competitors. Carmella, of course, is the main target, as the girls show their class by using �not for family hour� language in their rants. Christy takes the cake by telling Carmella she sucks cock or something like that, the *bleep* coming too late to cover it (although everything else was bleeped in time�hmm�). We get the phone numbers and asses are shook.
Thoughts: Classy ladies these lasses be. If it wasn�t clear that Carmella�s winning this right from the start, it sure is now. Hilarious in a horrible, embarrassing, �Why are they doing this?� way. I think the FCC is gonna be calling tomorrow.
- Mr. and Mrs. Kane walk backstage (well, Lita doesn�t really have any choice in the matter). Trish Stratus, standing in a doorway with Tyson Tomko notes that they are already acting like a married couple with Kane taking out the trash. Kane seemingly gets angry and stares at Tyson, but instead compliments Trish on that excellent burn.
- The happy couple head to the ring and Kane grabs a mic. Kane remarks that Lita is the favorite of all his property and thanks Eric Bischoff for his wedding gift: an open contract for Unforgiven. He notices that Lita isn�t very cheery tonight, and knows it�s because of Matt Hardy�s not being here. So, he has a surprise to cheer her up. He flew in some of Matt�s relatives and brings out Pat, Nat, Rat and Fat (who�s fat) Hardy, destroying them all and pinning Pat. He goes to light the corners, but Lita stops him, since she has a surprise of her own. Kane forgot that marriage means that they are partners, and that Kane is her property too. That also means that Eric Bischoff�s gift was for BOTH of them, so she took the liberty of signing an opponent for him�..Shawn Michaels. Kane flips out as a cheered up Lita walks up the aisle.
Thoughts: Kind of a unusual way to get the Kane/Michaels match booked. It seems more logical for Shawn to challenge Kane himself, since there is backstory between the two, but I guess they wanted Lita to get one over on her hubby.
Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit
Benoit asks the ref to check Flair for brass, and he finds a pair in Flair�s kneepad. Flair gets in the ref�s face, so Benoit pounces and fires off some LOUD chops, a backdrop, and tries for the Crossface, but Flair gets to the ropes and bails, but Benoit just follows him out and chops some more, keeping at it back into the ring and Flair wobbles like a Weeble and DOES fall down. Flair meets a Benoit charge with an elbow and chop blocks him, going after the knee for a bit before pausing to strut and locking in a kneebar, but Benoit gets to the ropes. Chopfest �04 commences, with both guys getting some LOUD ones in. Flair takes Benoit�s leg out and grabs it, but Benoit fires off an enziguri and goes up, but Flair avoids the headbutt and goes for a suplex, but Benoit flips out of it and hits the Rolling Germans before locking in the Sharpshooter. Flair almost taps, but Batista runs in for the DQ as Flair chop blocks Benoit again and Batista hits the Bomb.
Rating: 4/10
Thoughts: Decent enough little match, as these two really tore into each other with those chops and Flair bumped around pretty nicely. The ending was fairly predictable, but I am intrigued at the thought of a possible Benoit/Batista match.
Highlight Reel with Edge
Chris Jericho laments about not winning the IC title last week, and challenges Edge to a match at Unforgiven, calling him out to see if he accepts. Edge comes out on crutches, having torn his groin in a house show match this past weekend. Edge brings up the SummerSlam victory, so Jericho brings up the fact that he was booed out of the building while Jericho was cheered. Edge doesn�t care what the �puppets� say, and he�ll let Jericho win the popularity contest while Edge wins the matches. Jericho questions the severity of Edge�s injury and the fact that Edge would wallop him with a crutch with his back turned. Edge tells him that he�s full of surprises, but not tonight, and he has the MRI to prove it. When Edge is healthy again, Jericho will be first in line. They shake hands and Edge leaves the ring but suddenly Christian comes in from the crowd and pounds on Jericho, smiling at a stunned Edge.
Thoughts: I think I can dig a rekindling of the Jericho/Christian feud while Edge recovers. That feud was also stopped in its tracks when Christian got injured, so they can definitely use that. Plus, we will probably get that long-awaited Edge heel turn and E&C reunion once Edge comes back.
Trish Stratus and Gail Kim vs. Victoria and Nidia
The heels work over Nidia in the opening, but she takes them over with a double monkey flip and tags Victoria, who hits the twisting sidewalk slam on Gail before sending Trish to the floor. She goes for the Widow�s Peak, but Gail counters and locks in a Sharpshooter variation. The �Woman� that May or May Not Be Steven Richards comes out and trips, rolling down the ramp a bit. Gail releases the hold to laugh and Victoria rolls her up for the pin
Rating: 1/10
Thoughts: I gave .5 for Nidia�s cleavage and .5 for Trish�s ring attire, that�s it. The crowd couldn�t care less about this match, and neither could I.
- Smackdown Rebound.
- Eric Bischoff ices his foot while booking Randy Orton vs. Kane for next week and HHH walks backstage.
HHH vs. Eugene (no-DQ match)
They work the mat to start, with Eugene getting a couple of carries and a backslide. He grabs a headlock and they back into the corner. The ref steps in to break it up (what exactly can he do?) and HHH slugs Eugene down, dropping a leg into the groin and tossing him out. He sends Eugene into the steps and rolls in to break the count, since apparently countouts can happen in this match. He pounds on Eugene while screaming �Orton!� and stops a rally with a spinebuster. He rams Eugene�s head into the corner, but that just makes him mad and starts the rally, which includes a Rock Bottom. He goes for the Stunner, but HHH blocks it and gets a sleeper. �Rock-a-bye baby time, Eugene� says HHH as Eugene begins to fade. The ref checks the arm, and it looks like Eugene is done for, but HHH releases the hold, wanting to hit the Pedigree instead, but HHH stops the cover himself at 1 and heads out for his sledgehammer, but as he tries to bring it into the ring, Randy Orton comes out and grabs it. He follows HHH into the ring and readies a shot, but HHH kicks him and slugs it away, but Orton gets up and fights back, getting the sledge and driving it into HHH�s gut before delivering the RKO. Batista and Flair run to ringside, but Orton keeps them at bay with the sledge. He looks at them and slides Eugene on top of HHH for the pin. Orton has words with his former friends as we fade to black.
Rating: 2/10
Thoughts: This match seemingly came out of nowhere, since it looked like HHH took care of Eugene at SummerSlam, making this match kind of meaningless. Rather tame for a no-DQ match, and all it did was provide an opportunity for Orton to get another one over on HHH. But that�s much better than HHH slugging Orton with the sledge, hitting the Pedigree on both Orton and Eugene, and posing with the belt for the umpteenth time. That�s what is making this feud more enjoyable; Orton is actually outsmarting and getting the best of HHH. Of course, this will probably result in HHH getting the title back at Unforgiven, but you do have a good setup for a Wrestlemania main event blowoff, which it seems like this feud is heading for (Orton was the RAW Ironman in this past year�s Rumble, remember).
Final Thoughts: Pretty much last week�s RAW without the wedding to save it. The wrestling was pretty pedestrian, the Diva Search reached a new low (and you thought �my ass is hungry� was bad. And they�re giving this ANOTHER WEEK!!!!), but at least there are some good angles brewing, which is this show�s strong point.
I�ll see you sooner rather than later, since I got Smackdown this week. See you then.
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