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" The Gravel Pit "
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Wrestling
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TNA
The Royal Treatment: SD (9.02.04)
Posted by Peter Kostka on Sep 3, 2004, 13:38
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- A PPV-ish montage hyping the Eddie-Angle 2/3 falls match is shown. It�s good that they are treating this like a big deal, and I can understand why they�re blowing it off on SD (they need the ratings), but I would have preferred a PPV match myself.
Previously recorded in Sacramento, California
Booker T is out to kick things off, and he grabs a mic. It seems like everywhere he goes, he�s met with �Cena� chants, but he�s the one who won match #2 last week (he shows the finish), and won match #3 in Australia this past weekend. We see the finish of that one, which has Cena coming off the top with a crossbody, but Booker rolling through and hooking the tights for the win. So now Booker�s up 2-1 and is ready to close out the series (�unlike some teams�). He �raps� about beating Cena, and Rey Mysterio interrupts. He asks Booker if he wants a match tonight, because Rey wants Spike. If Booker doesn�t, he should get out of the ring. Booker tells him �you must be this big to talk smack.� Rey starts a 619 chant and they look to get it on, but Kenzo Suzuki interrupts. Geez, do they ALWAYS have to do this segment whenever I do the show? So Kenzo speaks English himself now (making Hiroko completely useless), and states that 619 is an American area code, but Rey isn�t American, so he�s a liar (sure, I can understand�.huh?) Kenzo loves America, and has a smile like Tom Cruise. Thankfully, Rob Van Dam shuts him up and they brawl, but Rene Dupree (hey, nice to see nothing has changed in a month) jumps him. Rey and Booker get into it as the others enter the ring, and the faces chase the heels to the outside. Theodore Long comes out and makes a 6-man tag (even though Booker�s in street clothes), and adds John Cena to the face team.
Thoughts: Find a new opening segment, please. Enough of the same guys interrupting each other and brawling every week. It doesn�t even seem like these guys are fighting over anything specific, other than Cena and Booker. At least put Spike on the heel side so Rey has a reason to be there.
Booker T, Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko) and Rene Dupree vs. Rey Mysterio, RVD, and John Cena
We join the match in progress with Cena working over Kenzo. He readies the Shuffle, but Booker gets his attention, which allows Kenzo to attack and tag Booker. Cena pounds on him, however, so he tags Dupree, who reverses a whip but eats a boot and an axehandle and RVD tags in. He hits the tornado legdrop for 2 and shoulders Rene in the corner, but Dupree blocks the monkey flip and hotshots him, tagging in Kenzo. Cena and Rey break up a few pin attempts and Dupree tags back in, grabbing a chinlock. RVD rallies and kicks him in the face before tagging Rey. He takes Rene down with a crossbody and a bulldog, but eats boot on a charge (with the OF2S from Dupree) and Rey sets him up, but Booker breaks it up, which draws everyone in. Eventually, Rey gets the 619 on Dupree and Drops the Dime for the pin.
Rating: 3/10
Thoughts: I just can�t get excited when it seems like these guys are fighting each other like this each and every week. Things just seem to be going in an endless cycle with these guys, and it�s getting real old fast. If these guys all wanted Booker�s title, I�d understand, but it just doesn�t look like its being booked that way.
- They recap the Eddie-Angle feud so far, first going back to the finish of the Wrestlemania XX match.
- Paul Heyman locks a door and turns to find Theodore Long in his face. Heyman points out that Heidenreich is locked in his room for the public�s safety. Long points out that Heyman will be held personally responsible for Heidenreich�s actions and fines him $5,000 for the attack on Josh Matthews last week. He knows Heyman, so no checks, just cash. Heyman tells him he will take care of it, and unlocks the door after Long leaves.
- Footage of Chavo Guerrero suffering a severe concussion last week thanks to a knee to the head from Billy Kidman�s shooting star press. He and Paul London get ready in their locker room and are met by Jamie Noble, who blames Kidman for injuring Chavo and possibly ending his career. Billy looks disturbed by Noble�s words, and his partner has to snap him out of it.
- Viginette from Carlito Carribean Cool. I give him 3 weeks and he�s gone. He�s like Razor Ramon without the hair, promo cutting ability, but with an idiotic name.
Billy Kidman and Paul London vs. Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli (non-title)
Pre-recorded comments from the FBI play up the danger of the SSP. London and Nunzio start, and they go back and forth on the mat for a bit until London gets the upper hand and sends Nunzio to the outside. London holds the ropes open for him, and he slaps the taste out of London�s mouth, getting the advantage and dropping a leg for 2. He tags Stamboli, and he works over London for a bit before tagging back out. London gets a backdrop to escape and tags Kidman, who works over Nunzio and dropkicks Stamboli off the apron, but Nunzio gets a legsweep for 2. Kidman gets a dropkick and sets Nunzio up, but he hesitates while on top, climbing back down and tagging his confused partner in, who promptly gets pinned by Nunzio. Kidman tries to apologize and heads back up the aisle, leaving his partner to get destroyed by Heidenreich. He stalks Michael Cole and Tazz before sending London splatting to the outside. Heyman comes in and tries to calm him down.
Rating: 2/10
Thoughts Decent while it lasted, but much too short. Since SD is so shallow in the tag pool, you couldn�t do worse by putting Nunzio and Stamboli in there. Nice touch with Kidman�s hesitation to use the SSP again after just hearing he might have ended someone�s career with it.
- Promo hyping the return of the Big Show in 3 weeks.
- Theodore Long tells a ref to find Heyman and bring him to him before hearing out Torrie Wilson�s (wow, a SD diva on TV? Fire up the VCRs) fears about the Big Show�s return. Long tries to convince her it will be fine since he had Show take anger management classes, but Torrie is less than thrilled.
- We see some footage of the Undertaker�s entrance from the new Day of Reckoning Gamecube game, and JBL comes out for commentary for the next match.
Orlando Jordan vs. Charlie Haas (w/Miss Jackie)
Whoa, TWO SD divas. This really isn�t a match in the sense that they try and make us care about it; since Cole plays the Colmes to Tazz�s Hannity while talking to JBL (Tazz kisses up while Cole tries to find out if he was really injured). The business with Undertaker is over as far as JBL is concerned, and Haas will get a title shot if he beats Jordan here. Jordan unties a turnbuckle pad early on, but Haas gets an Exploder for 2. He tries a German, but Jordan blocks it, ripping off the loose pad and ramming Haas into the exposed steel, hitting his neckbreaker for the pin. JBL heads into the ring to congratulate his Chief of Staff and nails Haas with the Clothesline from Hell.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Completely no reason for the match, as one of those nifty �via Satellite� interviews would have done the trick just as well. Really, they didn�t even show the action in the ring for a bit, focusing on the commentators instead. How am I supposed to care about the match then?
- Ivory, Linda McMahon and Big Show (apparently fresh off a visit to Chris Harvard�s barber with that haircut of his) are at the Republican Convention. Now, call me crazy, but was it a really good idea for John Kerry to schedule a speech to rebut Bush�s at MIDNIGHT? Couldn�t he have waited a day?
- Clips from the Australian tour.
The Dudleys (w/Spike) vs. Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn
Gunn controls on D�Von to start and goes for the Dumbasser, but Buh Buh trips him up and tags in. The Duds try a double team, but Gunn fights out and tags Holly, who hits a powerslam on Buh Buh, but he answers back with a spinebuster. Holly hits a flying clothesline, but D�Von ties up the ref so Spike can bop Holly with his belt and Buh Buh gets the pin.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: This isn�t a joke, I really want to know: Why Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn are still employed? They haven�t done anything meaningful (if you want to call it that) for the company since 2000 (or in Gunn�s case, since the DX days), they have as much heat as a freezer, and they still blow in the ring. So why aren�t these guys hitting up TNA or some indy organization for work right about now?
- Continuing with the hype for our main, here�s the finish to the SummerSlam match.
- Yet another dumb Carlito Carribean Cool video. Cole and Tazz plug the new Tough Enough contest (men only, it seems), RAW Rebound, and the main eventers walk.
Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero (2 out of 3 falls match)
1st Fall: They take to the mat and Angle has the upper hand, keeping Eddie grounded and countering his counters. Eddie gets to his feet and Angle gets a wristlock, yanking Eddie down by the hair to stop the rally. Back to the mat, and Angle gets another wristlock, yanking Eddie by the hair again when he tries to come back. Eddie sees that this is how it�s going to go tonight, so he yanks Angle down by the straps of his singlet (because he has no hair, see) to break another wristlock, using the straps to give Angle a nipple burn and to pull him into a headlock, with Angle forcing him into the corner to break and pulling down his straps to stop that nonsense. Angle slugs, but Eddie counters a backdrop attempt with a sunset flip and pulls down Angle�s tights, sending Angle scurrying to the outside. Back in, Eddie gets a go-behind, but Angle, out of the ref�s view, low blows him. Angle slugs, but Eddie gets fired up and fights back, giving Angle a taste of his own medicine with a low blow�.right in full view of the ref, who calls for the bell and gives the fall to Angle by DQ.
Thoughts: Actually a good strategy by Angle, using dirty tricks to goad Eddie into making a mistake and gift-wrapping a fall to Angle before he knew what he was doing.
2nd Fall: Eddie pounds away, but Angle reverses a whip and gets a backdrop, followed by a belly to belly. He hits a suplex for a few 2 counts before grabbing a rear bearhug. Eddie elbows out of it and gets a suplex of his own, but Angle nails another belly to belly for another 2. He grinds his knee into the back and then goes into a chinlock, but Eddie escapes and charges, but Angle turns it into the Angle Germans. He goes for the Angle Slam, but Eddie counters into a roll-up for the pin, surprising Angle.
Thoughts: See, this is why this match would be better suited for PPV; it was obvious that due to the limited TV time, they had to cut the second fall short so they could get to the third fall. On PPV, they would have probably gone at least 10 minutes here, instead of not even 5.
3rd Fall: Angle has the rear bearhug back on as we take a look at the previous fall results. Eddie rallies, but Angle clubs him in the back and goes for the Angle Slam again, but Eddie counters into a hurricanrana and starts to heat up. Headscissors, and he goes for the Three Amigos, but Angle counters into a German. Another Angle Slam attempt, but Eddie counters again, into a DDT this time, and goes up, but Angle pops up and takes Eddie down with an armdrag and hits the Angle Slam, but Eddie kicks out at 2. Angle grabs the Lock, but Eddie�s in the ropes. He goes for a German, but Eddie escapes and hits the Three Amigos. Luther Reigns runs down, but Eddie knocks him off the apron and goes up, but Angle moves out of the way of the frog splash and hits another Angle Slam before grabbing the Anglelock and dragging Eddie to the center. Eddie pushes Angle off, and sidesteps a charge, sending him into the ref. Eddie dives out onto Reigns before grabbing a chair, nailing both Angle and Reigns before sliding it over to a downed Angle and playing dead. Angle recovers and picks up the chair, but the ref also recovers and sees Eddie �knocked out� with Angle holding a chair. He puts 2 and 2 together and Angle begs him not to call for the bell. While this is going on, Eddie laughs, but Reigns jabs him in the knee with another chair and Angle grabs the Anglelock, putting the leg in a grapevine and forcing Eddie to tap. As Angle celebrates up the aisle, Reigns jumps into the ring and pounds Eddie, hitting his finisher on him while Angle looks on, stunned. And we fade to black.
Rating: 6/10
Thoughts: Pretty disappointing overall. The multiple Angle Slam counters were a bit excessive, and the ending really doesn�t settle anything, only serving to set up a Guerrero/Reigns feud. As I said, I really think having this on TV was a bad idea, since they could have done so much more without time constraints.
Final Thoughts: The main event puts SD over RAW this week, but the UPN crew kept it close in terms of crap matches. It�s even worse for SD since at least RAW has angles and characters you can actually care about, and they at least throw some different combinations into the mix. Contrast that to SD�s weekly match involving the same RVD/Rene Dupree/Booker T/John Cena/Rey Mysterio/Kenzo Suzuki combination. The New Smackdown Six, these guys are not.
Just a note, next week�s recap will be late as well, since its NFL kickoff night, baby! I probably won�t even watch SD until Friday. See you then.
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